Being A Badgirl

Death

"She couldn't pull through because her injuries were too severe. I'm sorry for your loss Mr Sterling." The way the doctor said it was so mechanical. So unfeeling. As if he said it a million times before and my fiancee is just another patient. As he continued about some other things, like the charges, I didn't listen.

She couldn't pull through.

"...The visting hours are from 6am to 9pm, so you may visit your fiancee then." The phone call ended, and then I'm alone. Sobs wrecked my body.

Janice couldn't pull through.

Janice. My Janice, didn't deserve to die. Some other person or object did. I wouldn't care if it was the person that crashed into Janice that died. Fuck forgiveness. The police told us that it was a case of hit-and-run. Fucking coward. He or she deserved to die. Not my fiancee.

I thought it through before. What's the best way to die? As a celebrated person or just a nobody? No. Not just me. We did. The both of us thought about it. 

It was just after we ate a hell lot of chocolate during our few hundredth sleepover. Seriously. We probably ate all of Willy Wonka's chocolate from his factory.

My parents were close to never home. And if they were, they don't usual care about me. They'd just be stuck in their rooms working out deals and everything for their clients. So we didn't have to worry about practically doing the dirty deed at the door or anywhere else for the matter.

"Ah...I love chocolate so much." She exclaimed before burying her face into another bar of Hersheys. I pouted at her. "I thought I was your only love."

"I love many things. You are like at the last 50 in the list." 

I pouted and ignored her for a good 5 minutes before she asked something I constantly pondered about.

"R? How'd you like to die?" I turned to give her my full attention before flashing her a cheesy smile. Placing a hand on my heart, I looked her in the eye and told her that I'd want to grow old and die with her by my side.

"Shut up you moron. That's not what you truly want. Besides, I don't accept that as a way to die."

I ignored the first part of her speech,"And why..?"

"Because I don't want to die with you, like eww. That's so boring like I don't want to be clutching onto your hand or something. I think I'd just die by doing something heroic but dumb. Like...leaping off a building or something. Dying in a car crash or by drug overdoses aren't for me." Her arms waving around dramatically, looking so adorable in one of my t-shirts that wasn't as big as I thought and as she pranced to the kitchen for one more bar of chocolate, I could see her butt.

"How is 'leaping off a building' heroic?"

She glared at me as she ripped off the wrapper to her millionth chocolate bar. "Don't question me." She snapped while I laughed aloud at the idea of her leaping off a building in her current attire.

But in the end, her life story came to an end because of a car accident. Because some fucked-up asshole couldn't fucking concentrate on the bloody road. For a few seconds, I contemplated doing the same. Just running over to her ward the first thing tomorrow morning and slicing my arteries by her bed so I'd die with her.

Nobody else would give a fuck about my death. My parents are hardly around and they probably already forgot I existed. Calista and I aren't exactly on good terms yet, and Jan doesn't seem like the type to cry for me. I have no siblings, nobody that'll care for me.

The only person that remotely even cared was Janice.

And now, she's gone. Because she couldn't pull through.