The Unwanted Bond

You have got to stop acting like nothing affects you.

Parker's POV:

After I had fallen asleep as a wolf on the floor of Ryan's room, I have spent the last four days in wolf form, hiding out in my room. I heard that Tamara was punished in front of the pack for assaulting me and warned that if she did so again that not only would she be banished but no one would stop me from attacking her back. Which isn't what I wanted. I didn't want to lose control and attack when people touched me. I wanted... no needed control.

I groaned in pain as I finally shifted for the first time in five days. I laid on the floor and whimpered as the pain ran through my body and tried to breathe through it.

"That's why you don't push off shifting for that long."

My eyes snapped open. I groaned and ran my hands down my face. "Why are you in here, Carla?"

"Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I heard you let out a pained noise and wanted to make sure you are okay. I'd like to think we could become friends. If we can move on."

My wolf grumbled inside my head but ultimately was leaving the decision to me as she was Ryan's sister. "Okay. I haven't had any friends since I was like 14 though."

"I thought you were taken at 16?"

"I was." I confirmed.

"So why didn't you have friends before that?"

"Because I was a jerk and I was deaf. No one wanted to be friends with the deaf future beta."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I brought most of it on myself."

"Maybe. But no one deserves to go 10 years with no friends."

"I had Derek."

"Derek was your best friend, then?"

I chuckled and turned my head to look at her. I was on the far side of the bed and my shoulders up was the only thing she could see. "Derek's my brother. He's closer than a best friend. And up until Ryan.... He's the only person who could get within five feet of me without me wanting to attack them. I mean.. I still have my moments with Ryan where some times he says something and I wanna punch the stupid look off his face but I don't want to actually hurt him." I shrugged. "Derek is the only person who has never judged me. I wasn't the annoying deaf brother, I was just his little brother. It's.... Hard. To be away from him for this long, to have minimal contact with him because he's busy with Alpha things that I'm no longer involved with is difficult. I know I could come down and hang out with your pack but I'm just not comfortable here yet. And it seems like everytime I leave the room something bad happens and within a week I can't even remember everything that happened so I look like an idiot when people bring it up."

"We all get that this is hard for you. No one expected you to come here and be open arms. And despite you running away we can see you actually do want to be here. That you are trying. Tamara... She's always had a thing for my brother. He's never shown interest in her. Especially when he found out that the B on his mark meant his mate was a Beta and there were no female Beta's. She hates you because she was hoping to be named his mate once the year passed on his mark and it faded. She didn't realize he could be assigned a new mate. She was trying to push your buttons in the hopes that you would reject him. Now she's trying to get you angry in the hopes that Ryan will reject you."

"Ha. Good luck with that one. I tried. Hell I practically begged him to. He refuses."

"Because you're his mate. Why would he reject you?"

I paused as tears welled in my eyes. "Cause I'm not good enough." I whispered.

"What? Why do you think that?" She looked confused.