toxic | joonas porko

20. "Time to say goodbye"

"Wait... Am I too dumb?.. What do you mean?"

Joonas was staring at her to get an answer but she was looking everywhere but him. That was when he put his hand on her chin to make her gaze turn to him.

"No, Joonas. I can't tell it while looking at your eyes..."

She gently pushed his hand away making Joonas took a deep sigh.

"I... I knew there was no way I can meet you in real life... You would never be interested in me anyways... So I had to do something because... I just... I was so in love with you."

She was crying so much that he could barely understand what she was saying. But that was enough for him to understand that there was something terribly wrong.

"That was when I decided that I can't do that anymore... I knew you were coming to that party, that was why I went there. I stood right by the windows to make you notice me and you did..."

Remembering the things she did made her even more ashamed now. Telling him about it was the worst since Joonas' thoughts about her will surely change a lot after tonight.

"The meeting at the guitar store was not a coincidence either... I followed you all the way from the studio and went into the store just some minutes before you came in... It is so hard for me to tell you all this... It really is but... I had to tell it. I have no choice anymore."

When she finally found the courage to look at him, she saw nothing but her confused boyfriend, if he was still one, biting his lips, looking like he was trying to think what he just heard.

"Valeria... I... I don't know what to say. You know that it is called being a stalker, right? Damn! I would have never thought someone would do this... It is fucking creepy."

She turned her gaze to play with her hands resting on her lap. She was so embrassed that if the ground had a mouth, she would want it to swallow her.

"But the way you did all this just because you loved me so much... I don't know... What are you doing to me, woman?"

Hearing Joonas laugh made her look at his eyes to see if he was serious or not.

"You look cute with puffy eyes and wet hair..."

This time Valeria could not help herself but laughed together with him. She only stopped when Joonas came closer to her to wipe her tears off her face.

"It is not about the party or the guitar store... If I would have fallen for you the second I see you literally anywhere on this earth!"

He pulled her into a tight hug which made her cry even more. She was crying this time only because she realized that she really did not deserve this sunshine in a form of human named Joonas Porko.

"Why are you this nice? I don't deserve you..."

He just tightened his grip, without saying anything because he had too many things going on inside his head at the moment. Valeria did all this because she loved him so much but he knew that it still does not change the fact that what she did was wrong. And that was when he only knew the one side of this story.

Valeria had also too many things going inside her head just like him. She was not sure if she had to tell the other side of the story to him or save it for later. The way Joonas reacted to the confession she made was not enough to make her think that he will do the same when he hears the emogirl part of the story.

But she knew she had no way out even though she wished she did. She came here to tell him everything. He deserved to know.

"Joonas... There is something else..."