Submissive Desires

Three

"Please," she said. "I have to be sober when he sees me."

"You really should have thought of that before you drank a third of a bottle of vodka."

"I lost track! It wasn't doing anything at first and I thought I'd mixed in too much lemonade... I don't remember drinking all that. And he is already angry. There must be something!"

"Sweetheart, the first one to discover it will make a fortune. But you should be able to hold it down by focusing. Just don't move around a lot, and focus on speaking carefully. You'll be fine."

"He likes making me say tongue twisters."

"You're screwed."

"Classy, what do I do?"

"I have no idea. You say he's considerate. Tell him the truth – you were very upset and you drank and you did it badly. Maybe he'll have pity."

"He is not very good at that. But he'll be very concerned and he'll get on a plane. He is deeply protective of me." She sighed. "It will not be so bad really. He's been angry at me before, but he doesn't leave me. I just hate to disappoint him. I was so stupid. I told him not to come because I needed to study and I haven't studied, have I."

"When is the test?"

"Tuesday."

"On...?"

"Abnormal psychology. Deviance and aberrant sexuality."

I choked back a number of answers. She gave me a dark look.

"So," I said, changing the topic slightly. "He makes you be sexual online."

"Often. I am surprised you never heard me."

"I, um, have, once or twice. There have been a few moments I was glad I didn't speak Romanian... and once when I really wished I had."

She kind of giggled. "So. 'Voi face ceva' is 'I will do anything.' And 'Vă rog, că nu' is, roughly, 'please don't make me do that.' And 'Trebuie să' is 'please I must', and when I say it over and over it means-"

"I know what it means. It means I put my head under a pillow and think about fluffy bunnies."

"I try to be quiet, I really do."

"Well, you've probably heard me a few times, too."

"Once or twice. But believe me it doesn't bother me."

I paused. "What is it like when he asks you to fuck other men, an orgy?"

"It can be anything from dull to pleasant to so hot you literally forget to breathe. But I haven't had the experience you see in movies, lots of men climbing on random women. I've never been with more than two men at once, or one man and one woman – and the man wasn't Andrei. Yes, I've been in rooms with quite a few people making love at the same time, but there was no impromptu sharing; everyone had their one partner, or very occasionally two."

"You're... bi."

"Um... that is a complicated question, but I think no. The guy and girl thing happened once, only. At one point the girl was required to go down on me while the guy toyed with me in other ways. I came repeatedly. And the girl was very pretty and I liked looking at her as she served me. But my fantasies are never about being with women, and no, I don't check you out in the shower. Maybe if Andrei had me with girls over and over I'd learn to want it, but he doesn't want that."

"I have a confession," I said. "I sort of pitied you because you were missing so much sexuality. Now it turns out that you've had things I barely even imagine. I feel like a child."