Submissive Desires

Nineteen

A week passed. Sy had been practicing forgiveness and we were talking again. Andrei and Stefan were away on business on the West coast – or rather Stefan was and Andrei tagged along to see California beaches and to get some distance from Sy. Sy was not very happy.

"It will be fine," I told her.

"I have seen him in bathing trunks. Maybe not so fine. And there are too many bikinis in California."

"It's not the bikinis you have to worry about. It's the girls in them," I teased.

"Wait. The girls who wear them are not called 'bikinis' too?"

Sy's English was so flawless and idiomatic, except for her fear of contractions, that it was sometimes hysterically funny in the rare cases when she got a word wrong. I couldn't imagine where she got this mix up from.

"No, we just call them sluts and skanks, if they are prettier than us. In a bikini you'd be a total slut-skank."

"Only because of the bikini," she said, a little sadly.

I sat down, carefully. The bruises had healed, but the first few days had taught me the value of settling gracefully and very, very lightly on chairs, and the lesson had stuck. Sy had complemented me on my new ladylike grace and demeanor. (I'd hit her with a pillow, and I'd meant it to sting.)

"I can't even imagine how you can miss that... that previous experience of yours. Even if you do, I guess it would be hard to ask him to make you do other guys at this point."

"Ha. He's more likely to make me be with girls. And don't even 'go there', roommate. Say the mantra."

We put our palms against each other's and chanted "Not lesbian. Not lesbian. Not lesbian." It had become our little joke because the guys were so fond of keeping us naked and hot that anyone – well, any guy – who walked in would assume (or at least hope) we were doing each other.

"So, you understand this mind stuff," I said. "What does psychology say? Can a girl be trained to be a lesbian?"

"Psychology doesn't know," she said. "Because no one is going to fund a reputable study on it. We do know that trying to change a homosexual to a heterosexual has such a poor success rate that it's assumed that the 'successes' are mostly bisexuals who found it easy to give up one desire. So I'd guess the other way doesn't work either. But there are people who think that all women are bisexual and repressing it. I mean women do find other women pretty. But I discount that idea. To a man, pretty means sexy. They don't really have independent concepts for those terms when it comes to women. So I think the bisexual thing is just a projection of guys with dirty minds and a misunderstanding about words."

"Ok, but imagine Stefan forcing me to have, um, experiences with a girl, and rewarding me with orgasms. His will is so strong and I ache to please him. What happens?"

"Every guy's fantasy says you become bi. There's a whole genre in erotica on forced conversions. And, ewww. But I doubt it works that way. Could he make you tolerate and accept sexual attention from a female? – I think so. Desensitization can be very effective. But there's core orientation, what we'll loosely call what you masturbate to when you are alone. Well, once upon a time you did, I think never again... but anyway, I don't think that's changeable. I don't know. One of the men I know in Romania leaned very hard on a younger girl in that way so he could have his threesomes and foursomes. She said she loved it – but I think she was latent bi and he just woke it up in her."

"Huh. Ok."

"Why do you even ask?"

"Because... he's going to punish me. I'm trying to imagine what would really freak me out. And what I come back to is a threesome with Stefan and another girl."