Submissive Desires

Seven

The library. My books were there. But I couldn't stay there, he knew where that was. I needed a place to be and Elena didn't have a roommate today. I'd hide there. I was still shaking as I collected my books and was only getting calmer when I knocked on Elena's door.

"Clarissa," a voice said behind me. In, of course, a Romanian accent. Shaking again, I whirled to see Andrei. I'd been so stupid! Sy had suggested Elena's room to me and she was on their side!

"Hi. Stay back. I'm- I'm just visiting a friend, no time to talk."

"The girl who lives there is not a home. She's with Sy, running an errand."

"You did that!"

"Yes, I did. Come back to your room. Being braless does work on you, but I think you'll be more comfortable when you holster them again."

"You hideous bastards, fucking with a girl's brains-"

He walked away.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me! I'm not done telling you what a bastard you are!"

Down the hall he went, and he got to my door, took out a key and let himself in. Shit!

I stormed after him, went through the door-

The door slammed behind me and suddenly I was on my knees with his hand a fist in my hair. But once he had me there he stepped back. It hadn't even hurt.

"That's for obscenity in my presence. I don't allow that from any girl. But you aren't my girl so that's as far as correcting you is going to go. You're not my problem."

I got up. "I'm not anyone's problem!"

"True enough. You've decided that you are your problem alone. How lonely you must be."

"Don't you f-"

His eyes... I didn't finish that word.

"Don't you tell me what to feel," I said.

"I'm not. I'll telling you what you do feel. Now calm down. I have no plans to take charge of you. Stefan might, he seems to like you, may the heavens help you."

"He's a bastard! You're all bastards!"

"Yes. Do you know why?"

I just stared at him, thrown off balance by the question. "Um. Bad upbringing?"

"Careful what you imply about my father. And no. I'm a bastard because that's what gets me what I want. I have Sy. She is mine."

"She's not property!"

"She gave herself to me. You decide if that's property or not. Have you ever given yourself to anyone?"

"Shit, no! I'm not a commodity to be handed out like a prize to some man!"

He eyed me. "Com-modity. Common good, yes? I'll agree you're no commodity. But you are a prize, to be won or lost. You don't think of yourself that way, but it is how men think of you. We always have and we always will and you can't change that. Until you accept that you're stuck with boys."

Wordless, I flew into my bedroom and changed. Even after forty minutes of storming around the campus I was still visibly aroused and I chose a padded bra, and a fucking pad because I was still so wet. My baggiest sweatshirt and loosest sweatpants completed the look.

I dumped out my backpack and sat down and studied. It lasted all of two minutes and then I was back in the living room staring at Andrei. "I'm not Sy," I raged. "I'm not like her. I like nice men."

"But you need ruthless ones. Stefan tells me you were very natural in your submissive behavior. What is the word. Authentic."

"Fuck Stefan!"