Submissive Desires

Nine

This next part is hard to write, but it was hard to experience, too.

I woke up the next morning, slowly and painfully. I'd been used hard, spanked, and turned into an emotional train wreck. All of that was still with me, as my eyes opened. My hips ached, I had a small tender spot on one wrist - that one had been my own fault - and the slightest movement of my bottom against the sheets reminded me that I'd been ass slapped pretty hard at a couple points.

The world faded in slowly, and the light was wrong. Oh, I thought. I'm in Romania now.

That woke me up the rest of the way in a hurry, and I sat up, and then cried out. Ouch, damnit! My shoulders, too!

I was in my own room, and I was... of course... alone.

And my clock was off.

I stumbled out of bed, whimpering slightly. It suddenly occurred to me that I was naked; my nightshirt was in tatters on the bed, cut to ribbons. When had that happened? I sighed.

The clock was unplugged. Why? I grabbed my phone. Eleven am... I'd missed two classes. Cursing (after all, no Stefan), I stumbled into the main room.

Silence. Sy would be at class. No Andrei, no Stefan, no anyone. I deliberately turned my brain off and limped into the kitchen. I hadn't had dinner, and hunger had woken me up; I was actually shivering a little. I cooked an egg, stared at it, realized that Stefan was gone forever, and cooked three more.

And didn't eat any of them.

For your information I didn't cry. I didn't feel much, which pissed me off because what I should have been feeling was relief. Stefan had just blown in and shook me upside down to see what fell out of my brain. Nothing he'd liked, apparently, or he wouldn't be gone. I should have been overjoyed. I had my life back, after a brief visit to StupidGirlCrazyLand. Fucking hell, unprotected sex with a guy I didn't know. StupidImmatureCrazyGirlLand.

Impulsively I checked every room. I knew I was in trouble when I actually checked the closets. I don't know why I expected to find Stefan in a closet, I'd never managed to find a boy hiding in my closet when I was 14 (I'd checked a couple of times, yes, after some scary slasher movies; and don't tell me you never looked) and I had no reason to think it would work now either. Maybe I was riffing on the childhood fear of the monster in the closet. Monster, Romanian, no difference.

I sat and stared at the eggs. They weren't fertilized. I better not be either. I did the math... it was very unlikely, but I'd still been more than a little brainless.

I picked at them. They were cold now. So was I.

My clock had been unplugged. Stefan, of course. He wanted me to oversleep so he could make his getaway in peace. Good. Smart move on his part. No one wants to have some emotional girl clinging to them when they sail off to bigger and hotter adventures. I filed Submission under One Night Stand, and shrugged. At least there was no walk of shame involved. No one ever had to know. Oh, crap. Elena had seen the four of us together. Everyone was going to know.

I'd just pretend nothing had ever happened. Because nothing had. Yesterday was officially canceled due to lack of funding in the sanity account. Yesterday was just a bad dream, a case of mistaken chronology, a wrong number-

I blinked. There had been an urgent email flag when I'd opened my phone.

I flew to my laptop; my feet can't have touched the floor once. Cursing the slow fucking piece of shit browser I opened the email tab and after three shoe ads and a Better Sex Through Yoga link from a friend...

Dear and beautiful Clarissa -
Be calm, this is not a goodbye note. I did a lot of thinking last night – by the way, you snore – and I would like to continue to explore a relationship. Since you are entirely too much fun to fuck and it seems to get in the way of our conversational skills – and since I'm suddenly needed back at home over a business matter I can't resolve on the phone – I would like to try a longer distance relationship for a time. I would like to get to know you better and at the risk of pride I already know you feel the same way. Even if I wasn't sure, you also talk in your sleep... it amuses me that you'll never know what you said, but "oh please yes" was repeated a few times. You're a naughty, begging slut and you can't get enough. That amuses me; I will intensify it in you.