Fate (Boyxboy)

Head vs Heart

(The wonderful dork in the picture is Charlie! Yes, finally a face to the name)

July 30, 2022

"Jace?"

A voice cuts through the air, bringing the temperature from hot and lustful to freezing cold. My lips stop mere centimetres from Jace's when I snap out if it, realizing what I almost did. I almost kissed Jace. It was me this time. I had leaned in and nearly done what I've basically told myself I wouldn't do. While Daisy was within earshot on my phone only feet away.

Both of our eyes widen as we scramble to our feet awkwardly, turning to see none other than Jasper standing there looking confused, but slightly annoyed.

"S-Sorry about that," I say to Jace, then turn to Jasper and chuckle awkwardly. "I'm kind of a clutz, never watch where I'm going."

I nearly stumble, and Jace reaches out to help, but I non-too-discreetly swerve away from him and hurry to pick up my phone, meeting his gaze as I speak into it, "Sorry Babe, ran into someone and dropped my phone. What were you saying?"

The light that was in Jace's eyes moments ago suddenly dims, "Oh, it's okay! You're such a goof. You were telling me how things were and saying you might... I don't know you cut off after that."

I frown, still unable to look away from Jace, "Yeah. I might come home with Seth tomorrow. Coming here wasn't a good idea."

Jace finally tears his eyes away from mine and looks indifferent as Jasper walks over to him and steps into his arms. That was my place, and I need to stop feeling like it still should be. It can't ever be again and I need to accept that. He has Jasper, and I have Daisy. I had hopes that maybe we could be friends, but I just don't think it's possible. A love like ours simply can't be returned to a state of friendship, we'll always crave more. At least I will.

Daisy just says she'll see me whenever, and to text her if I do go home tomorrow and then I hang up, leaving myself in silence with both Jace and Jasper staring at me. "That was my girlfriend, sorry about that. Uhm... what are you two doing here?"

"My nephew is playing, so Jace and I came to cheer him on, you?" Jasper says when he realizes Jace isn't up for saying anything.

I smile and look out at the field, "I'm good friends with the coach and he invited us out. Seth and Charlie are playing with the kids."

"What about you?" Jace asks randomly.

My smile falters, but I just shrug, "Sports aren't my thing. You know that."

He nods awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck, looking as though he's trying desperately to think up conversation starters. Jasper however steps right up and seems to be much more comfortable than Jace or myself.

"You're on BBC radio one, right?" Jasper asks and I nod. "I listen to your show all the time!"

"Yeah, Seth's actually my co-worker, you've probably heard him on the show with me a few times then," I say pleasantly, seeing as I always enjoy talking about my job.

"I've seen the online clips as well, it looks like you have a lot of fun working there," Jace adds.

I nibble my lip and nod, "Yeah, I love it there. I, uhm... I should go now though. Zoe's waiting for me and I need to make sure Seth isn't doing something stupid."

Jasper laughs, but Jace just holds my gaze, staring into my eyes with an intensity that tells me he is trying to tell me something. What that is though, I have no clue. It's best if I don't think about it too much, I need to leave now and let him get back to his boyfriend before I embarrass myself any further.