Tubbo smiled contently as he pulled the green composition notebook from the shelf in his locker, the one that was adorned with a variety of bee stickers, fluttering around the cover with life...the one that Ranboo, his boyfriend, had gifted to him on only their second day of knowing each other. It was by far his favorite notebook, he knew that for sure...it was the one where he kept all of his sketches and mindless doodles. Whether it was working on anatomy or just aimlessly twisting his wrists and pressing long, swirling lines onto the page...it made him content. It made him content knowing that his boyfriend had gifted it to him, although it had been before the two of them were officially dated. When the two of them were in that ever so awkward period of liking each other and not knowing exactly what to do about it.
Most high schoolers got stuck in that phase, Tubbo realized. At least, according to Tommy. His best friend would talk often of the girls he had managed to 'woo', but never spoke of the potential dates that he would go on with them...which was because he never went on any dates with them. It was always just flirting with girls over Snapchat, giving them kind compliments, but never having the courage to actually ask them on any dates moving forward. It was just that feeling...that tension that hung heavily in the air. It was the unspoken sentence, the unspoken question, one that so many people had fallen victim to never being able to ask.
Do you want to be my girlfriend? Do you want to be my boyfriend? Do you wanna be in a relationship with me? Is it okay if I like you as more than friends? Is it weird that I feel different around you? Is it bad that I want to form a deeper connection with you? Is it okay if I...look at you differently?
Most of which were questions that Tubbo had often asked himself while he was around Ranboo in the first few days of them talking to each other. When the brunette had first started regularly hanging out with the boy, and he had to be honest...part of him wasn't sure what he wanted. He knew that he wanted to be more than friends, his heart had told him that from the first day that he sat beside Ranboo in the hallway that evening after school...but part of him had been unsure. Tubbo had never felt that way before...he had never felt so confused in such a delightful, inexplainable way. And Tubbo had dated girls before, sure...but he had never dated a guy. Was it supposed to feel the same as dating a girl, the feeling that he felt in his heart?
Tubbo had questioned it, but never prevented the feeling from stopping him to do things with Ranboo. It never stopped him from texting him at one in the morning when he couldn't sleep, always surprised when the boy got back only a few minutes later, not being able to sleep either. The two of them would share the dumbest conversations, sending memes back and forth to the point where Tubbo had to bite his knuckle just to stop himself from laughing loud enough to wake the entire house up. But, through the stupid jokes that they would tell and the silly references they would make...they would often have deep conversations about meaningful things, things that Tubbo would never bring up around Tommy. What they wanted to be when they grew up, what their dreams were, what their greatest achievement was, some of their passions and hobbies that they kept to themselves and never told their parents. Things that the brunette wouldn't even think to tell his friends. Things that only Ranboo was allowed to know.
And God, Tubbo felt comfortable telling him almost anything. Telling him how his day was, and telling him how it had gone wrong...telling him about his upcoming assignments, or how he had gotten a good grade on his exam, or stepping him through the essay he had just written while explaining that he probably wasn't going to get that stellar of a grade on it. The blonde was always there for him whenever he needed...always listening. Always offering to look over things for him, always allowing him to speak. The two of them would have phone calls late at night, Tubbo lying on his bed and just staring up at the ceiling, surrounded by the darkness in his room...comforted by the soft sound of Ranboo's voice on the other line. Gentle, peaceful...calming. Whenever the boy was stressed about anything, his boyfriend's voice was always enough to soothe him. Gentle words of encouragement and reassurance that everything would be alright, that he didn't have to worry about something as much as he was.
