Trying to get his ex-boyfriend off of his mind was proving harder than Tubbo would have expected. His concept of taking a walk to clear everything up was deeming fruitless. The brunette could walk as fast as he wanted...that didn't mean that the thoughts of Ranboo wouldn't linger behind him, threatening to suffocate him if he thought about everything too long. After all, walking was just thinking whilst moving around, hardly enough of a distraction to seriously keep his mind off of things.
It was stupid to think that this wouldn't have happened in the first place. Tubbo was seeing Tommy for the first time since forever...he was bound to think of the life he had lived back in high school...the life where he and his best friend were joined by one of the greatest people in the world. He shouldn't have gone snooping around, that was mistake number one. Snooping around was bound to get anyone into trouble, and it had done exactly that for Tubbo. Every page he flipped was striking a shovel into the Earth, digging a deeper and deeper pit until the only thing he could do was toss the book aside, although leaving the gaping hole in the ground the same as it was before. And one couldn't just quickly bury a grave.
Day by day, a shovelful of Earth would be forced back down, painstakingly covering up the mistakes that had been dug through, sugarcoating the heartbreak. A steady, tiresome process, sweeping through five stages as they dragged an unfortunate soul along with them. It was enough to force Tubbo to toss his head back and just scream up at the sky. He had already been through this. The brunette had done all of this before, and now it seemed as if they had moved the line for him, as if he would be forced to run the race all over again. It wasn't fair. As much as it was his own fault, it wasn't fair. Now the young man was thinking about Ranboo all over again, and that was the last thing he needed.
Ranboo had not been on Tubbo's mind, in all honesty, in years. The brunette would occasionally think about him before ultimately suppressing the thoughts, instead choosing to go about his day, acting as if they had never dated in the first place. Not the best strategy to get someone off your mind, of course, but it had worked well enough for Tubbo to continue doing this. Each time that he had dared to think about the blonde, he would immediately force himself to think of something else, often attempting to convince himself that maybe Ranboo wasn't even that good anyway, and that if he hadn't broken up with before college, then he would have done it eventually. A lie of course, all of it...but it had worked, nonetheless.
In all honesty, Tubbo had never truly given himself the time to get over the relationship. Wallowing was the last thing that the brunette had wanted to do, always considering it pathetic of someone to be truly that upset over a high school breakup. He didn't allow himself to just stay curled up in bed for even a day. He wouldn't let himself reflect on what had happened. In his mind, life could not stop for even a day so he could get over everything.
Nevertheless, Tubbo pressed forward with his walk, hoping that something interesting would occur to take his mind off of his ex. He kept his hands in his jacket pocket, humming softly to himself. The brunette had all morning and afternoon, accompanied only by his thoughts. Maybe he could think of a new book idea. Or maybe Tubbo would be content simply exploring...after all, he had never been to the city before. There were certainly a lot of things he could do. Go to a park...maybe find a restaurant, or something. New York, as unsympathetic and intimidating as it could seem, was at the same magnificently complex, enough so for one to seem like a journeying ant as they ventured through the concrete jungle.
"What to do..." the young man breathed out, clicking his tongue as he continued walking down the sidewalk, reminding himself not to stop to think, as it was best to not stop traffic, and certainly not in New York City. Although the brunette had never travelled there before, he knew well enough through pop culture that the people there could be a bit...rude.
