A Taste Of Oblivion : The Short Comings Chronicles VOL1

A KIND OF FEELING : PT4

"Boy, I think you should go home," his father said to Liam and Liam scrambled getting his clothing and gave Sam one last lingering look that screamed 'I'm sorry' but Sam's head was bent in shame, shame that he never knew his parents could make him feel, his parent's were loving right? They never made him feel little, they were normal, cool parents, they never made one homophobic remark even on TV but then again Sam was a boy, and Liam was a boy too. It wasn't something that didn't happen often right, he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see Liam leave.

Liam was foolish, Liam was dumb and stupid, how dumb of him to kiss that boy and for his father to barge in, and he kept on thinking what would happen now, he liked Sam, no scratch that loved him and when he finally got a taste of him it had to be ruined, he'd have to apologise to Sam tomorrow but would Sam even attend school tomorrow cause things were brewing up at home,

"Samkelisiwe Lonke Bantu, care to explain what I just saw," his father was pacing around the boy's room, frustrated and confused yet angry to say the least. Konke Bantu was everything, everything but calm at this moment, how could he not see it, how was he so blind, was it work that turned his boy into this. Sam had a girlfriend, Lilonke, they had met her and, and, and he didn't know what else to say but that he didn't know the Sam that was infront of him,

"And, wathula ndithetha nawe," (why so quiet I'm talking to you) and when Konke Bantu talked in IsiXhosa his voice boomed around the whole room, bouncing on the furniture, the walls till it landed painfully on Sam's ears and he winced. Sam was everything, everything but calm at this moment, it was as if his mind was fuzzy, everything happened so quick and he couldn't grasp the concept of time cause he had to be dreaming right? Nothing could move so fast and in his daze he didn't even see his mother still in her work uniform enter his room dawned with a worried expression on his face,

"Konke, what's with the noise, what's going on," his mother Sisamkelwe Bantu wanted to know what made his usually calm husband roar. Sam knew he had to speak up, it was now or never and he gathered up the shame he had and morphed it into a pitiful excuse of confidence and uttered two words that left him breathless and dazed as his never said them outloud in all of his 17 years,

"I'm gay," and silence, complete silence, a pin would drop and they'd hear it in the utter silence that had clothed the naked room. Sam didn't even have to lift his head to see the disappointment on his father's face as he spoke with a quiet anger,

"Who gave you the right,"

Shocked wouldn't be able to define what Sam felt as he looked at his father who was held back by his mother who avoided her son's glossy gaze.

Right? RIGHT? what right, how can one need to have a right to know who one was, how could he say thi-

"WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?" his father roared,
"NDITHETHA NAWE KWEDIN, hmmm umdala ngok uyazenzenzela unothanda?" (I'm talking to you boy, hmm you're grown now so you do as you please?)

Sam was stunned, frozen cause he had never seen his father like this and his bubbly mother was quiet so quiet that it was scary as she looked at Sam, touched his shoulder and left with a roaring Konke. They didn't even try to understand, they just left and for that, for that mere fact for the first time in years Sam cried.

Liam berely slept that night thinking about Sam and not the silly thoughts that he'd usually think at night but thoughts of worry and he tried multiple times to stop himself from calling but he couldn't so he picked up his phone and dailed Sam's number but it rang a couple of times till it went to voicemail, he tried the second, third and fifth time till it just went to voicemail completely and his mind went blank as he was scared, scared of the way Sam's father had looked at him, no emotion whatsoever, and he tried to sleep but couldn't as he tossed and turned praying for the safety of Sam.