A Taste Of Oblivion : The Short Comings Chronicles VOL1

STUPID PEOPLE : PT 5

"You should break up with him," Liz said breaking my train of thought as she was in the kitchen with me making dinner,

"What?" I asked slightly confused as I wasn't sure if she was joking or she was seriously asking me to do such monstrosity,

"I said break up with him S," she said more confidently looking me in the eyes, I couldn't believe what she was saying, why she was saying this, I grew angry at her, betrayed even, she was my best friend, my only real friend she was supposed to support me and want me happy,

"Liz, are your hormone pills messing up with your brain or what, why would you ask this of me?" I asked in disbelief, she was supposed to be happy that I was happy that I was happy no matter the circumstances,

"Or are you afraid that I'll leave you for him cause babe that'll never happen," I said this time in a soft tone looking at her and taking a sit beside her in the kitchen island,

"It's not that S but I don't want you to get hurt, you guys are not even an item or let alone have a label and no strings attached carry more baggage that you don't realise and I see that you've fell harder than you'd like to say out loud and the way you look at him, S I'm afraid that you might be far too gone-" she paused a slight bit to sigh and push her hair out of the way then continued,

"Friend I don't want you to get hurt, a "no strings attached" means only sex but then you guys act like a damn couple but only in doors, why doesn't he let you go to his place, why haven't you met even his friends or held his hand in public?"

"He said it's a small apartment, not all of us have rich parents that can afford condos Liz," I said rolling my eyes growing slightly frustrated but also deflecting cause I didn't want to hear what she was saying,

"True but not even once S, that's sus and you know it and also you don't know if he's gay or not,"

"That's not important," I say frustrated,

"Or do you want him? Is that it, you want to fuck him too," I said growing angry but then again what if she wanted him, the thought alone is enough to make me jealous and spike my insecurities cause Liz is transitioning and looks hotter than ever, well given that she was still hot before she even transitioned,

"That's not it Siya and you know it, it hurts that you even think that, it's just- ," she said clearly angry now pausing a bit to regain her breath,

"He's just not right for you!"

"And how would you know?"

"I'm your best friend, it's my job to know!" And this time it's just a screaming match between the two of us I'm sure my neighbours would come banging at this door with a noise complaint but Liz sighs before calmly saying

"I don't want you to get hurt, just-just break up with him before he hurts you,"

"I won't!" I say yelling

"Are you that desperate for love that you can't see he's using you! Are you that desperate, huh? Don't be fucking dumb," She said shouting and that hit me, it hit me so hard I wanted to cry cause to her that's how I come of as, desperate for love, a good for nothing gay that will be want love from anyone willing to accept,

"Get out," I say lowly,

"GET OUT ELIZABETH!" She flinches from my loud outburst and gathers her stuff looking at me with pleading eyes before saying,

"I'm sorry S but I care for you and I don't want you to get hurt,"

"Just Go," I say barely whispering as a tear slips from my eyes, I drop to my knees as I hear the door close.

I want to cry cause we've never fought this hard before, we've never shouted at each other like this and over a guy, who was she to say I must break up with him, friend or not she was out of line. I don't realise I was even sobbing till I wipe my damp cheeks with a slight hiccup and reach for my phone calling the one person who can relieve me from this pain. I click his number but it rings then goes to voicemail, I ring him for the third time till a female answers his phone,

"Dakota's phone hello?"

I freeze, my entire body seems to be in such shock that I can't even breathe, I can hear her saying hello but I can't say anything till my mind forces me to believe that maybe she's his cousin or maybe friend yeah, maybe she's a friend,

"Uhm, sorry but I was looking for Dakota," I clear my throat

"And who maybe this?"

"It's Siya," I say swallowing what seems like a rock but then the words she says next make me want to die on the moment

"Babe, a Siya is on the phone," A lone tear falls from my eye as I hear a loud fuck and some shuffling till the line disconnects. Numb that's all I'm feeling right now as my tears ricochet. Thoughts go haywire in my head as questions arise and I don't know what to think how to feel but I was hurt more than anything,

Was I the side dish?

Was I an experiment?

Was I even worth his love and affection?

What was I?

I sink to the floor as my phone slips from my hand and falls, I don't care if it's shattered or not cause my heart right now is in turmoil, I was broken.

I don't know how long I was on the floor but I got a text from him, maybe it was an explanation, maybe 'Babe' was just what they called each other and it was nothing real, hope bubbles up in my chest as I swipe over the notification and then I die

From Dakota 💕

"I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore, please block my number and I'll block yours, I have no explanation as to why but I was confused and I dragged you down with me, I'm sorry but I'm done

And my tears freely fall, I lose all purpose in a split of a second, a single text ruins me as I realise then I fell more than he did and I thought maybe my eyes were deceiving me when I saw the signs and ignored, I was so desperate I called him again maybe this was a mistake maybe he didn't mean it but the calls goes straight to voicemail till it says blocked, I was so heart broken I was even willing to settle as a side cause I loved him, I loved him so much it hurt, I called the only person I knew would help me even if we fought,

"I need you," thats all I said before everything went still and all I could see was a distorted picture of reality, I saw her run frantically in my room but thats all I remember till I went black.

I loved him, I still did but turns out love wasn't a real thing for me, turns out a relationship isn't for me after all, love is what ruined me and I hate him cause he broke me, I hate him cause he made me hurt, I hate him cause I can still smell his scent in my sheets, I hate him cause I can't forget the moments we had and the things we did, I hate him cause I still love him and I still want him and thats why I'm stupid, that's why I'm pathetic cause despite the hurt I still believe that maybe, maybe he still loved me but was afraid, stupid emotions, stupid me for still holding on, stupid him for not even ending things with me in person, I guess thats why we're just stupid, stupid people after all.

fin