A Taste Of Oblivion : The Short Comings Chronicles VOL1

IT'S FINE, WE'RE FINE, I'M FINE : PT2

My parent's never knew how to take care of a child, I mean how could they when they were children themselves, had me when they were 18 and got married when they were 20 due to circumstances. They work, constantly and I'd be lying if I said they worked on our relationship too cause they don't, mere strangers in the same house, my mother a lawyer same as my father working for the same firm away for most of the time, sending money in my account in attempts that it'll mask their absence and make up for love, cause in their books a shelter, food on the table and a fat bank account is enough to be considered loving and caring, I don't mind though, I never did, I just got used to it.

When I came out as bisexual they just nodded and gave me a Gucci bag with a card that said "Congratulations on finding yourself" and I guess that's why I considered myself close with Anna, they never had their parents from the start but relished in the vast money that every month was put in, we were the same cause behind these expensive clothes we never knew what love and trust was and they say like poles repel but we attracted, they said things that are the same don't mix yet we were a puzzle pieces that worked well but then again here I am drinking this now cold coffee because of insecurities, cause as much as we were the same, we were both vastly different.

"I see your still quite the thinker," Anna said as they stood awkwardly near my booth, our booth, what was ours but now isn't,

"Anna," I whispered again, afraid that maybe all I see was just a figure of my imagination, maybe the lack of human contact for a year was driving me insane and the big house I lived in alone didn't help either,

"Well it's Kendrick now," they said as I started to notice more about them than the feelings I still had, same soft brown eyes and beautiful brunette hair, still long cause they said that's what they liked most about themselves, it was silky and soft, partly cause of her Indian genes , well half Indian and also their insane hair care routine  but they liked it nether-less, same tan skin and now a flat chest, no more breasts in the way and shoulders, broad shoulders, and a beard lightly showing but still a loving face,

"I- I-...I'm happy for you," I breathed out as a genuine smile took over my face,

"Care to walk with me?"

And before I could agree my feet moved on their own accord, mentally face palming as I showed more eagerness than I would have wanted as if I was desperate.

Silence, utter silence, heavy silence rested between us as there was so much to be said but one wouldn't even know where to start,

"You haven't changed one bit Lee," Kendrick said in a teasing tone and I smiled softly saying,

"Well you've changed, a lot but for the better, and seriously Kendrick? Is it because you had a crush on Anna Kendrick or something?" I said with a lame attempt of trying to lighten up the mood and they smiled, chuckled even, enough to raise my spirits,

"Close but not really, Kendrick was my grandfathers name and in a way this was me honouring him cause you know I don't talk to my parent's but I came out to him before anyone else,"

"I know, you told me about a gazillion times when we'd joke about our parents,"

"Well do you remember us running away to Paris for a week thinking our parents would notice,"

I smiled at the memory as I remember the impromptu trip, no plans, no anything just rebellious 19 year olds and accounts filled with cash and hearts filled with what was love,

"I remember you making me break into a chocolate shop there just to steal a bunny,"

"Well that was a dare you could've said no," they said bumping their shoulders with mine as I could feel the electricity between us, it was still there, I'm sure they felt it too,

"Well I don't back away from a dare and also that was the first time we got into a jail cell, gosh in the middle of winter just for a freakin bunny," I said lightly pushing them, as I always did, as I'd always do when we dated,

"Well you gotta admit, that bunny was cute,"

"Fuck off Sims, our parents had to fly all the way to bail us out, I'm sure they had heart attacks but couldn't careless cause the following week we were back to reeking havocs in our bank accounts," I said smiling at the memories we made, trips to London, Mozambique, Hawaii but my favourite had to be in the villas in Fiji where we shared a moment so intimate and so deep it felt like a dream, alone we made so much memories from the pain and hurt, spent so much time together yet so much more apart but I liked this, now, reminiscing as if we never left Johannesburg, as if we never left Queen Street, right here, under this broken street light and this broken relationship.

"I miss us," I said so quickly and wished to swallow the words as soon as they came out,

"You don't get to say that Lilonke when you're the one who left," they said already breaking my heart that was already in pieces, they were right though, I knew it, they knew it, we both knew it,

"I fucked up okay, I'm sorry, " I said looking everywhere but Kendrick's eyes as I heard them scoff

"Don't you think that's a little too late now, it's been like what, a year Lilonke, A YEAR, how do you think I felt?" I winced cause I hated it when they called me by my full name, I hated it when they yelled and I hated it when they were right,

"I know okay, I fucked up," I said sniffing as the tears were on the verge of slipping, "I thought you'd come after me you know, just like you always did when I'd be the first to leave and-"

"And don't you think I was tired Lee, tired of always being the one to say sorry even when it wasn't me who was wrong, I...." I watched as Kendrick breathed and tugged their hairband and run their fingers across their hair, a sign of frustration,

"I loved you, but you're insecurities ruined us, you never even gave me a chance to explain" they said in a whisper and all was true, all was true cause I didn't trust myself to commit fully, I didn't trust them to commit fully so when what happened, happened I didn't allow anything else to room in my hear but hurt and betrayal. They sighed as I released a shaky breath and wiped my tears,

"I'm such a crybaby,"

"You always were and always will be," they said in a teasing tone, I forgot how quick we went through the moods, happy, sad, angry to teasing-but-slight-okay and I wouldn't have it any other way.