A Taste Of Oblivion : The Short Comings Chronicles VOL1

I DON'T KNOW

He never expected to be here in his wildest dreams, damp check with tear stains, a black sheep with black hair and mimicking black skin cause this sheep's wool was shaven, out in the cold to fend for himself, this sheep had no Shepard, thrown out cause he choose himself. To come out was what made him hate himself so much that he wish he had cut the moment he felt the lowest, when he first touched the blade, now here he stands in a dirty street with dirty clothes from three days ago cause he decided to be brave, pity.

He thought he had what one would see as a perfect family, perfect mother, perfect wife, stays at home and reads the bible and attends Mother's Church every Thursday and Sunday, perfect father, perfect husband, works hard for the family and gives all his children quality time. He was the first of three children so he had an example to set, with his parents high hopes on his shoulders he grew up before he learnt how to overcome the monsters under his bed till they manifested to monsters inside of his head cause he had anxiety before he could even spell what anxiety was.

He was a nice boy, a quiet boy, his father taught him how to fight before he taught him how to love the man inside, his mother taught him how to be soft to a women's touch, peculiar cause he could never quite grasp the concept cause he was used to corse hands and stone rock abs, not that they would now that cause with a perfect family comes perfect lies and my was he immaculate at the job. He was dedicated cause he knew what he was was wrong in the eyes of his father as he told him multiple times but they loved him right? They said so every time during dinner,

"Be yourself," they say,

"You can talk to us," they encourage

But then turn around with stone cold eyes and a stone cold slap from his father as he tells them his deepest darkest secret he regretted not taking to his grave,

"I'm gay,"

His mother couldn't even look at him as she watched her husband beat him like he wasn't their own son, maybe in some twisted way this was them saying,

"We love you so much that words evade us, punches is the equivalent of hugs when it comes to a man,"

but he wasn't that stupid, the punches rolled as his heart broke more than bones would as his mother watched and cried as his son pleaded with his eyes saying,

"Mother, hear me bleed, didn't you say you'd love me even if I was reincarnated into a leaf blown in the wind, didn't you say you'd find me cause mother's intuition is strong than any bond on this earth? Why let him do this to me,"

But she looked away as his father took him by the collar and threw him where now was his home, the streets, now he walks and basks in the warmness the winter cold provides cause thats all he'll know right now and as he lays with his dirty finger tips and his bare feet on the cold concrete with a card box bed he prays, he prays that may this be a dream, he prays that may he wake up tomorrow to his mother's melody being carried around the whole house and his father waking him up for breakfast, he prays that he lives to see tomorrow but knows that will be a stretch as he feels his life passing right before his very eyes, hunger couldn't begin to explain what he felt, pain was only a word as he now lived in his mansion, cuts and bruises on his cheeks, a glimpse of the batter heart that lies in deep. He wished he took those pills when he had a chance cause then that way he would've controlled his fate but now here he is in a dirty alleyway waiting for death to come and collect his soul to hell where he will be warm.

Fin