A Pure Hearted Mate

Chapter 57: Needing a Break

[ Autumn P.O.V ]

After Halloween we still had fun but it felt like things have finally gotten back to the calm comfortable home I remember this pack house to be. I can finally get back to being the mother I was and be the person I remember I am. I can make new memories and be happy and I do deserve that and so does everyone else that stand by me who deserve it too.

Everything was perfect except for the occasional nightmare with details and things that would bother me. My insecurities of being with someone, and after I wake up I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I just sleep on the couch because it's safer. 

It's not as frequent as before but at times it feels much more intense. Today I hadn't gotten enough sleep having worked to 11 at night trying to get the boys back to bed. I tried to sleep but because of a nightmare I only got six hours of sleep. By morning, Leo was up and let me sleep in.

Then courtesy of another nightmare I woke up in a cold sweat and I was feeling really tired. Then the thought came into my mind that made me desperate for an escape ' What if I spend a night somewhere else and I can finally break this cycle of nightmares? ' 

These have been going on for months now and I've tried everything so I quickly started to plan for my trip and everything logical started to be answered almost as if brushing them off. It may be selfish to want to escape my problem and leave my responsibilities and obligations, but it's what I need to do so need to do it. Everything like being a Luna here I answered with what kind of Luna would they want still being, traumatized? No. Taking care of our boys, well, Leo can do that and if not him then Jay or Summer can for a day. I just needed a day to see what the cause was so I can make them stop.

I feel scared about everything like anything can happen and hurt me. I need to stay at my Dad's for a while to try and calm down and get away. I started to pack a bag of my clothes but as I was near the door I said when I looked at Leo when he came in. I asked looking at him nervously with my bag on the floor near the door. 

" Leo, I think I'm going threw something recently, and I think..I need to get away from everything for a while. Okay? " Then he said looking really concerned in front of me " Really? But where are you going and when are you coming back? " I felt more nervous and said having a hard time looking up at his worried expression 

" I'm just going to go back home to my parents to try and deal with...I think..I'm just trying to deal with PTSD. I..I don't know when I'll be coming back here. I just..really need to get away and deal with this, okay?.." then he said starting to move closer to me trying to hold my arms saying confused and a little panicked at seeing my duffel bag on the ground.

" Babe but you..so I'm going to take care of the kids then? Is this really going to help because I want to help you with this. Can I-I come with you, please?! " I felt myself pull away as I started to back away towards the door and said sadly leaning to grab the straps of my bag that I first came here with. 

" I'm sorry, but I...I need to get away from all the stress everything is starting to make me overwhelmed. I will need you to take care of the boys, yes. I really need to do this..I don't want to start to feel that way about you too. I'm sorry but I- " I felt myself stop when I felt my right arm grab the straps and then my wrist got pinned to the wall making me not holding the straps. 

" Leo?!" I exclaimed getting scared at him standing so close in front of me making me almost against the wall. I quickly looked up at Leo who was looking down at me. He was looking at me with a look of fear and saddened pain. His golden eyes matched his face as he said pleading almost like he was going to cry by how his eyes were glossing over.

" Autumn, please, please don't go. I don't think I can handle you leaving me, not again! " he said quietly as his hold on my wrist was slightly tight and almost trembling around it. He let go as I started to feel myself getting really panicked and a little scared feeling my heart beating rapidly. He then knelt his face into my neck saying sadly leaning into the crook of my neck