So Far Away ✔

002

. . .

DÍS

. . .

Days turned into weeks. Dís couldn't say that she was getting used to this life, as the continuous traveling, the few moments of rest and the underlying sadness made her tired. The only advantage was that she fell asleep like a baby at night and forgot the pain a while, although it returned as soon as the sun rose and Thorin woke her.

Dís knew she had to restrain the sadness, so she wouldn't lose sight of reality. Her children needed her, but sometimes it was terribly tempting to relive her memories with Famin, to feel his arms around her and to hear his voice again.

But before she realized it, the tears already rolled down her cheeks and she saw his lifeless face again. It was as if someone threw a mourning robe over her shoulders, and she could do nothing but sobbing uncontrollably while her children watched her with trembling lips. But that was not what caused the most pain. That was her brother, who turned away his face and sighed inaudibly. He believed she was weak. He never said it, but she read it in his eyes. He thought she had to get over the death of her beloved, as he had done.

"'Focus on the children," he simply said. "Rejoice the fact that they are still alive."

It was not enough. As much as she loved her children, they did not fill the gaping hole. Kíli had the dark eyes of his father. Fíli's blonde hair reminded her of the man she missed so much and she would never see again.

She did not know how to move on. The light in her eyes was extinguished and she had no idea how to set it on fire again. She couldn't imagine she would ever feel better. Thorin still had no idea where they were going. He said they would find something, but she couldn't figure out where. The towns of men were far away and there were hundreds of orcs that kept them at a distance. Furthermore the towns of men were not safe enough. They had no towering walls that hindered Azog. They were just an invitation to be burned.

"Here is an inn." Thorin sent his horse into a turn and there was a wooden gate. Very slowly they rode inside. There were several people around, both of small and tall seize and Dís suspected they wouldn't attract attention.

"Where are we?" Dís wanted to know.

"In Bree."

"Is it safe here?"

Thorin put his hand on hers and released her fingers around the reins, which she had squeezed unconsciously in pronouncing the last words.

"We will be save tonight."

They brought their horses into a stall. Thorin paid the groom and then took them to an inn. He whispered his name, received a key and lifted up Kíli.

Without saying a word Dís followed her brother upstairs while Fíli stumbled up behind her.

A moment later, she sank down on a wide bed. It was made for humans, but they could easily sleep on it together. She stared blankly at her hands, which were grazed by pulling the reins over and over again.

"This is nice for a night, right?"

Thorin looked at her and Dís nodded almost imperceptibly. It should indeed fulfill her with joy that she didn't have to sleep on the ground for the first time they'd left the Blue Mountains, but she still felt empty.

"I will ask if we can eat something."

Dís heard the door fall into the lock and she looked beside her on the bed. Kíli had crawled to his brother and had fallen asleep. Fíli stroked his hair and put his finger to his mouth when he caught the eye of his mother. "Shh."