Learning To Love

chapter 26

I woke up with a sore head again, my eyes feeling crusty and swollen. I went for my phone to check the time and saw that there were new messages in the group chat.

Grayson(Pricetag): Anyone free today?

Cameron(Tipsy): Me.

Mason(Ribs/Mace the ace): I'm busy later this evening.

Cameron: Same.

Lucas(doc): Tryna link?

Grayson: Studio boysss.

Cameron: Letsss goooo.

Grayson: Down for 10:00 AM?

Mason: Not really but sure.

Cameron: Lmao.

Grayson: Ok, see everyone around 10 then, I'll be up there a little earlier to practice.

Mason: K.

Cameron: Can you see if I have any sticks there?

Grayson: Sure.

Cameron: Thx.

I smiled with relief that I had something to do today and wrote back.

Ollie: Anybody want coffee?

Instantly my phone was drilling with messages.

Cameron: Fuck ya bud!

Mason: black plz.

Grayson: Yes.

Lucas: Ollie, can you pick me up? my car is getting fixed.

Ollie: And have your smelly ass in my car, Fuck off.

Cameron: Lmao.

Ollie: sure, when?

Lucas: 9:30?

Ollie: Let me shower and I'll be over.

Lucas: Thx.

Cameron: Can you get me a fancy drink?

Ollie: No.

Cameron: :(

Ollie: Fine...

Cameron: :)

It was 8:30 AM and rain drizzled down my bedroom window, creating little streams. I felt hazy, but again that strange feeling lingered over me. I was glad I didn't wake up anxious like I usually do. Or have a panic attack the second I get out from bed. Today, I felt fine. I sighed, stretching my arms over my head.

I headed out into the hall, the place was silent except for the sound of birds clustering together in the trees around our house. I liked the birds being loud, it was like a had friends far away enjoying little conversations, and probably good ones too. I smiled looking out the window in the living room, it was gusty and foggy, the house was empty. No banging on my door, no crying, or worry.

After scoping the place out to make sure I was surely alone, I went for a shower. I wanted to make sure it was empty because I wanted to sing in the shower. If a sang in the shower when Robert was home, he would yell at me and call me a Fag. Of course he doesn't even know I'm in a band. Though, it'll be awkward to break it to him when he sees our posters or hears our song on the radio.

I let the warm water cascade down my spine and sore muscles. It soaked my hair, weighing out the curls and making it feel longer as it clang around my neck. Lathering soap in my hands, I smoothed it onto my skin. I was so tired, but it felt so good to shower. I had such a hard time caring for myself.

when I got out, I brushed my teeth and looked at my face in the mirror. My facial hair was growing back and rather dark. It made me look dusty. A sudden picture of myself looking back into a hospital mirror collided with reality in my brain. I hated the way my facial hair looked when I was in there. They wouldn't let me use a shaver, it grew so long.