Learning To Love

Chapter 49

When I woke up, his room was eerily dark, the walls were like black caves that lead to an endless abyss. I turned my head and he was there, a shiver ran through me as I looked at his pale white skin, his shirt was off and he was loosely tangled in the covers. I can't remember what time it was when we decided to take a nap but it wasn't long after we got home. I looked towards his window and saw behind the curtain that there was still light outside, but it was definitely late afternoon.

Lucas looked troubled in his sleep, his brows pulled together. I didn't know what we were either. But I loved him, and he loved me, that's all we knew.

Out of pure intrusive thought, I reached out and caressed down his chest and watched goosebumps spread across his skin. His skin was flawless, and mine would never be. It was marked up and ugly. Letting intrusive thoughts fuel my actions, I leaned over carefully, and placed a soft and gentle kiss in the middle of his ribs. Butterflies fluttered around nervously in my stomach.

I laid there, watching him, thinking all kinds of things about him. Until suddenly his breathing became uneven and his eyes shot open, they blinked a few times until he noticed me over him. No words and no reaction, he reached up and crashed his lips against mine.

I stifled a moan from slipping into his mouth, he gently ran his fingers through my hair and shuffled closer to me. His touch had this deep sense of urgency and passion. I wondered if he dreamt about something. His kiss became even more aggressive and he slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I felt myself melting into him.

He pulled away staring into my eyes with a thousand dollar look.

"No matter what happens, I'll be here for you. We'll get through this." His words made tears well up in my eyes but I stopped myself from letting them escape.

He brushed my hair softly with his fingers.

"I hope I didn't yell at you or scare you earlier, it's really hard for me to express myself healthy, but I'm trying my best to learn." He looked down at my lips and then back to my eyes.

"I know I should give you time, and a safe space to come to me when your ready, but I get so frustrated and impatient. Especially if I feel like your in danger. I just feel so protective over you. I forget what's important, making sure your healthy and happy."

I just smiled at him and nodded.

"Don't worry Lucas, we will figure out our ways of communication. I can be a very patient person." I knew Lucas hurt my feelings sometimes but in all honestly, he's not in the wrong. He has every right to be frustrated.

"Thank you." The way he spoke sometimes, he really meant it. He over pronounced his words and said them with gentle firmness. He was genuine.

"I'll only forgive you if you kiss me," I teased and rolled my eyes to be dramatically sassy.

Lucas didn't hesitate and pulled me in, I loved how rough his kiss was, while his lips were smooth and pillowy. I could kiss him for hours.

Warning: NSFW content.

I moaned in satisfaction and laid my hand on his bare chest. He was undeniably sexy, all tired and shirtless. I heaved with an unrecognizable desire, it was desperate and needy. All i knew, was that i yearned for him, in every way- all ways. 

He pulled away, and I leaned in as he inched away. Our lips disconnected and I yearned for them to be back together. My face was red and I felt at ease with the painkillers doing their magic.

I wanted to be all over him and him to be all over me.

I wanted him.

Lucas just looked at me for a moment before completely pulling away and getting out of the bed. I felt a twinge of disappointment but I didn't really care. I laid there with my eyes closed, enjoying my painless relaxation.