Learning To Love

Chapter 48

Sitting on my bed, waiting until my erection went away before standing, or it would make my stomach all tense. I slapped my face to circulate the blood and not look so flushed. I wished he hadn't left. I should have took him up on his offer, now I was regretting it.

That feeling, when you get high off of someones company and once they leave, your craving for your next fix. Funny enough a drug addict can relate to it.

I laughed to myself cynically.

I could hear Robert taking items out of plastic bags and setting them on the counter. It made me curious to what he could have possibly bought. Usually it's cheese and bread, milk, ground beef, maybe some apples or another cheap fruit. And that's every, what? Two months, something like that.

Painting the house, buying groceries, next he's gonna be cleaning? Why now? It couldn't have been because I went to the hospital, or that I was gone a while. He didn't care when he'd done it to me before, definitely didn't care while he was doing it either.

Had some how the police found out something? Had Lucas said something? To the police? To Robert? Or was it a mere distraction? An illusion.

Welcome home my sweet boy, so glad I didn't actually kill you, now come, I made dinner, actually it's poisoned because clearly my first plan didn't work.

Probably, I wouldn't be surprised. The painting the house and everything is actually a celebration of his power, his success in destroying me.

Mother, if you had been there, you would have cried your pretty little heart out. I'm glad she's not around to see this. She would be stuck up in the attic, putting on her costumes and dancing.

I hadn't realized I walked to the kitchen until Robert was talking to me.

"Mm, sorry?" Robert held back an eye roll and repeated himself.

"How's your stomach?" He was putting away canned and boxed food in the cupboard.

"If I showed you, would you feel more satisfied?" I hissed and put away milk and eggs into the fridge.

"So it's gonna be like that." He growled back. I bit back a laugh.

"What, how it's always been? You toss me around a little and get high off your little power trip, and then pretend to play parent after? Next your gonna say "I don't want to hurt you Ollie." And play victim to your own abuse?"

I couldn't believe I actually said it all out loud. First I felt proud, a little thrill. He couldn't possibly hurt me right now? Not with Lucas coming over everyday. Then I felt dreadful as a can of beans pelted against the wall right beside me. I didn't have the time to react, I just stood there. 

"Act like you fucking know how it is? I'll tell you how it is. Try working your whole life and raising a little boy with your psychotic whore of a mother, just for her to fucking kill herself and your little son to grow up into a fucking junkie. 1 AM in the fucking morning I've got police pounding on my doors carrying your bugged out ass home after you attacked people on the fucking streets. Spending hours in fucking hospitals pumping pills from your fucking guts."

"You wanna say how it is, you fucking slimy cunt! I never fucking wanted you, it was your mother who got knocked up and kept you. Yeah, trapped me in this fucking house, taking care of you while she went around and fucked every neighbour on this street. And I had to look at them all at her fucking funeral. You want to fucking know how it is Ollie!"

I was trembling but I couldn't move an inch.

He stomps over to me, towering over me.

"I should've killed you the very second I had the chance."