Butterflies? Or something telling me to run away? || GiyuShino

Chapter 13 | Poison

Holding onto every word he said, hoping that he feels something too.

For without him, she would be lost in her own anger.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Even though she had decided to keep her feelings to herself, it didn't mean that she didn't feel any sadness at all.

The rest of the week passed by like a blur, Kocho didn't even really remember what she did. Waking up everyday felt pointless, in fact, nothing she did felt like there was a point really. She was merely going through the actions of getting up, eating, studying, going on solo missions occasionally, and sleeping. There was minimal interaction between the two Pillars, and unlike last time, there were no feelings of fondness when it came to thinking of him. Only pain and agony. It reminded her of the months following her sister's death.

She wished she never discovered her feelings towards him, or alternatively, never found out his views on romance. Ignorance is bliss, they always said. Now she truly knew what that phrase meant.

She looked at the Love Pillar sitting in front of her, chatting away even though Kocho wasn't paying attention to what she had been saying.

"So, so, so" she said with excitement "Obanai and I are a thing now!" Mitsuri pretty much had heart eyes as she talked about her relationship with the Snake Pillar. Kocho thought she was glowing, she had always thought that Mitsuri was a pretty person, but somehow, she just looked...different? Maybe love really does bring out the best in individuals, but she can't be sure.

"Shinobu-chan, how are you and Tomioka-san?" suddenly the conversation turned back to her, she gave her friend her perfectly practiced smile "we're doing great, getting along just fine" why did she lie? Nothing was fine at all.

"Oooh, I hope you two get together soon – we can go on a double date hehe"

"Mitsuri, we're just friends" Kocho smiled lightly at her "I don't see Tomioka-san that way"

"Don't lie Shinobu-chan~ I've seen the way you two interact like a married couple" Mitsuri playfully nudged her friend, to which Kocho could only smile in response. Mitsuri's words were a sharp reminder that they will not, and could never be together.

After talking a bit more, Iguro came by to see whether Mitsuri would like to go somewhere for dinner, and the two left soon after. The room instantly quietened down, forcing Kocho back to the reality that she will always be alone.

She opened a drawer and looked at the bottles of wisteria poison that she had stopped taking for a while now. Thinking back, she thought it was funny how after she moved into the estate, she just simply stopped taking the poison one day. Perhaps subconsciously she already cared too much about Tomioka to ruin her body any further, or maybe she subconsciously just wanted to have more time with him so she stopped taking the poison.

But how could she forget that her whole purpose of staying as a demon slayer was to avenge her sister? How could she forget that in order to defeat that Upper Moon who killed her sister, she must fill her blood with poison since she was physically incapable of slicing it's head off?

How could she have ever expected someone else to come to her rescue if she struggled?

She took a small bottle out of the drawer, and opened the lid. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed the whole thing in one gulp. After a couple of minutes, she could feel the metallic taste of blood rushing up her throat. This had always been her least favourite part.

She rushed to her bathroom and threw up the blood that was coming up, it would settle after a minute or two but even after taking this poison for almost a year, she never really got used to it. It always felt like she was dying after she took it, but she always thought of it as practice for the moment she truly died.