Lindsey was in the kitchen, trying to enjoy his quiet time while having breakfast. The moment was short-lived, when Kristen appeared, obviously pissed off. He knew he was going to be yelled at either way if he does or doesn't ask.
"Negative?"
"What do you think?" She shot him a look and he suddenly lost his appetite.
"You've been too concentrated on this, wearing yourself down like that."
"Oh, so it's my fault now?"
"I didn't say it was your fault, Kristin, I just..."
"You don't want another baby, that's why I can't get pregnant!"
"Maybe you should have consulted a doctor first."
"What do you know anyway."
"I'm sorry, I opened my mouth."
"You should think about me more and not her, while having sex with me."
"Not this again..." Lindsey sighed, hanging his head low.
"Tell me you don't imagine her? That you don't wish it was her?"
"Kristen, we've done this before. Please, we don't need to argue about it again."
"You could at least make a little effort."
"What if you don't get pregnant? What then?"
"Then we stay married."
"That's not what we agreed on!"
"We agreed on you giving me another child and when it happens, you're free to return to your whore. Although, I gave you a choice, Lindsey. You can leave now, you can run to her wide open arms, well, probably legs, and be happy with her, but then I swear, I will make your life miserable and I will try my best to keep you away from the kids."
"But your plan isn't working out. What if we keep trying, but you can't conceive? You still won't let me go? You will still be set on fighting for some ridiculous custody agreement?"
"That is exactly what I'm going to do."
He was in utter disbelief. "You're making me hurt Stevie. When and if I'm free to be with her, she's not going to want me anymore after everything I've told her."
"Good. Because this is your home, this is where you're supposed to be with your family."
"I don't love you! I can't stand being with you, how can you not understand that?" He was getting closer to his breaking point, his voice full of emotion, mostly desperation.
"It's not my fault you married the wrong woman."
"You've never been this cruel." Lindsey shook his head sadly.
"Your whore is the cruel one! She's tearing our family apart!"
"I thought you promised to stop calling her that."
"Isn't it true?"
Going down that road was pointless, he tried to make her stop too many times before. "I'll stay with you as long as it takes, but I can't continue treating Stevie this way. I can't keep hurting her."
"Because you love her." Kristen rolled her eyes at Lindsey's usual reply.
"I do love her, with everything I am. Not that you know what love is."
She laughed sarcastically, shrugging her shoulders. "You're wrong. I love my kids and I love the lifestyle you've provided me with."
"Your kids?"
"It's not like you're around much, watching them grow or anything. No judge would side with you on this; a father, who's a recovering alcoholic, having spent years battling depression, spending the better part of the year on the road with his drug addicts friends. You can't fight me on this, Lindsey. You would never win."
"I'm asking you again, let me explain everything to Stevie." He was almost giving up by now.
"I won't be seen as a fool, not anymore. Everyone is laughing behind my back as it is. Do you realize how it makes me feel, when people know you're fucking your ex girlfriend, who dumped you decades ago? And you don't give a damn that I'm younger or prettier, which any sane man would care about mostly."
"If I'm such a horrible husband, making your life a hell, why would you not want to divorce me? You can take anything you want; keep the house, the cars, I'll give you half the money I own, everything you wish for."
She flashed him a sly smile before replying. "Because I don't want her to have you." Lindsey had had enough of it. He grabbed his jacket and car keys and left, unable to stand Kristen's presence any longer. She knew she won.
After having spent hours driving around, Lindsey finally parked outside Stevie's condo, leaving enough distance, so he wouldn't be spotted easily. He turned off the engine and leaned back into the seat with a heavy sigh.
Did he ask for too much? Not in his opinion. All he wanted was to be with the woman he had loved his entire life, someone he shared the most wonderful memories and the most painful heartbreaks with. He started thinking of the time, when they lived in their small apartment, having nothing, sometimes not even food, but they always had each other. Sometimes he would be the one to gather her in his arms, rock her gently and sooth her, saying it would eventually be okay, sometimes she would be the one calming him down. It was hard, yet it was so easy. Nothing and nobody stood in their way, they decided everything for themselves and now they rarely had a say in anything. He was repeating Kristen's words in his head, he knew she wasn't just saying those things, she would take action and he would pay for it. But hurting Stevie was the least thing he wanted to do. Maybe Kristen wouldn't find out if he went to see Stevie, his Steph, to pull her into his arms and give her a kiss, and then explain what had been going on, tell her why he was acting so weird, why he refused to talk to her, why he was willingly making her fall out of love with him.
The debate he was having with himself lasted for almost another hour. If he was smart about it, Kristen wouldn't find out. He had to see her, he just had to. Even if this was their only chance, at least he would make sure she knew he didn't hate her, that he loved her so much it physically hurt.
Lindsey took a deep breath and almost opened the car door, when his eyes caught Hank leaving the building, where Stevie lived.
