Features Of Our Future (Fondness s e r i e s #2)

Chapter 15

"Are you okay now?"

Khavin softly asked. I just nodded silently while wiping my tears using my tissue,i heard him sighed while he was sitting beside me. Nandito parin kami sa parking lot, nakaupo kami sa likuran ng kotse ko. Pinauna kona si seline at pinagtaxi dahil kailangan siya ni pola for sure

'Yun na yung huli naming usapan ni papa bago sila tuluyang umalis. Gusto ko sanang pigilan pa sila o sumama pero hindi kona lang ginawa dahil baka tuluyan lang masira ang araw ni yuan. I already asked khavin if i'm not disturbing him but he never gave me an answer. He just stay beside me until now like he used to say earlier

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this"i said whispering

"i told you, say sorry if you did a mistake. Is crying was a mistake hmm?"he carefully said which made me chuckled for a second and nodded

I can't look at him I don't know why. Even I felt my heart racing so fast against my chest, i feel relief and comforted atleast.

"gusto ko sanang tanungin ulit 'yung sarili ko kung galit ba sila. Pero dahil sa nangyare kanina... sa tingin ko galit nga sila"i even laugh bitterly

He stay in silent so I continue"can I complain?"i said asking for a permission before glance at him

Our eyes met immediately as if it was totally locked with each other. He look at me intensely like he was trying to read my mind,his stare was too attractive. It was my first time having this got feeling inside me while making an eye contact with him

"I will listen even how long it takes"he sincerely said without any emotion on his face still not taking off his gaze on me and it made my heart flattered. I had to look away to hide my face from blushing for shallow reason

"For sure magagalit nanaman sa'kin si mama kase hindi ko siya sinabihan na ngayon na 'yung graduation ni yuan."i started before sighed, Imagining how she would started yelling at me"pero sanay na ako sa gano'n. She have a rights to know where he was staying at, his our mother. But sometimes... I wish I never have her"

I clenched my fist as my chest starting to get heavy again.It was my first time letting go this heavy feeling inside me, I used to fake everything. Fake my smiles, my acts, my attitude even my looks. Just to be more presentible infront of them, like what khavin said 'I almost have to be perfect just to make a good image'.

"I understand her, always. I never thought for leaving her alone, because I love her not just because she's my mother but because she suffer a lot of things also. Pero minsan hindi ko alam kung totoo bang may pake pa siya sa akin o dahil nalang sa pera na natatanggap niya mula sa akin"

I look up to prevent my self from crying again.I won't let myself being this shallow infront of him, masyado na ako gumagaling sa pag-iyak kaka-arte sa harap ng camera ha, nabubura 'yung make-up ko jusko

I laugh at myself"si papa lang naman 'yung kakampe ko. Kahit nung kumpleto pa kami, lagi niya ako pinapaburan pero may limitasyon 'din. He have a biggest part of my life that no one can replace. He let me decide for my self because he trust me,he trust my ambission, he trust my dream that i was holding on before"

I could feel that he was staring at me from beside. But I refuse to look back,because i know it will hypnotize me again

"Kaya kahit ayoko nitong posisyon ko ngayon. Ginagawa ko na lang ng ayos para kahit papaano hindi siya madidisappoint kapag napanood niya ako. But when he said that his proud of me. It gave me another chance to become more better"then i smile at the air