Best Night Ever

chapter nineteen

I woke up to the sound of soft breathing in my ear. Instinctively, my eyes flickered to the source and my heart rate instantly accelerated.

Louis was curled up besides me with his face nuzzled into my side. He looked so childlike, pure and innocent; a drastic juxtaposition from how he was the night before. His arm was draped casually yet firmly around my waist, holding me tightly against him. As I stared at his face, I realized I had to do something about my feelings for him.

Louis had become extremely important to me, so much so that I knew I couldn't bare to live my life without him in it. He had a power over me that no one else did. I felt happy and liberated with him, and I was willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to keep our friendship in tact. Even if that meant I had to keep our relationship platonic, I would if it meant he would remain a constant in my life.

I needed him, far more than I would care to admit. And honestly, that terrified me. My entire life before him, I had been an independent single girl and I was used to it; I functioned well that way. A romantic relationship could drastically change everything, especially if it failed.

How could I risk losing him for a relationship I wasn't even sure I could make last? There's so much extra pressure between significant others that friends don't have. Why would I let my first relationship, one that's practically bound to fail by nature, ruin my friendship with Louis?

There was undoubtedly some form of connection between us, a spark if you will. Together we were dynamic, insurmountable. How could I ever put that at risk?

Besides, there was no way he could feel the same way about me. What if I told him how I felt and he didn't reciprocate? Then the intimacy of our friendship would be tarnished, cast away like nothing.

Despite the way the morning sun lights up his skin, leaving intricate highlights on each strand of his hair, down the bridge of his pointed nose, and his beautifully sculpted cheekbones...I just couldn't justify the risk.

My gaze shifted to his lips; thin and pink, pursed in slumber.

I wanted to kiss them so badly, but I couldn't let myself do it. I had to remind myself that no matter how much my body longed for him, my heart did too; and I'd much rather deprive one than both.

For his sake and my own, I gently lifted his arm from around me and slid out from underneath the covers. I picked up my underwear and romper from the floor, sliding them back on quietly. I gathered my things, taking Louis' pile of water bottles out from my bag and leaving them on the dresser. As I approached the door, I had to force myself to turn back and look at him one last time.

I made sure I memorized each angle and curve of his body before I left. I wanted to remember him this way; naked and asleep, hair seductively tousled, with a small smile on his sweet face. I wanted this mental image to be a reminder to myself, of what I was willing to give up to keep him in my life.

And so I did it. I left, refusing to look back a second time.

That's when I remembered, Louis was asleep in my room. Immediately I was tempted to call Margaux and ask for advice but I thought better of it. Margaux was a free spirit, one who thought little in advance. She wouldn't know how to help me. Hell, I didn't even know how to help me.

I sighed and looked at the time on my phone. It was eight, and the band would be rehearsing at ten for their performance later that evening. I considered casually waking Louis up and acting as though nothing happened, but thought better of it.

Instead, I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

***

"You're an early riser as well?" I jumped slightly when I heard Harry's voice from the hall. "Sorry," he chuckled. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"Its alright. I actually am an early riser, but I don't know if I'd call nine that early."

"Its always two o'clock somewhere," he grinned cheekily.

I nodded sarcastically, a humored smile on my face.

"I don't think that's how that saying goes, but alright."

I was on edge as a result of everything that happened between Louis and I, and therefore my tone was more curt than usual. However, Harry chose to ignore my attitude and maintain polite conversation.

"I'm always the first one up. The other lads take longer to wake, especially Niall and Zayn."

We continued to make small talk as we walked the halls of the hotel, which I sincerely appreciated because it kept me distracted from my overwhelming emotions. We stopped walking when we stumbled upon the buffet-style dining hall. We were among the first inside, aside from a few other hotel residents, so we found a small table near the back to sit.

We continued to talk, mainly about art and films, as the other boys began showing up to breakfast, along with the management staff and bodyguards. Harry was an extremely cultured guy, and he knew a lot of art puns. He told me a good one regarding the French artist Duchamp, and I burst out laughing.

I earned a few annoyed side glances at my outburst, but only one made my heart stop. Louis was standing in the door way looking at me with a blank expression on his face. I suddenly felt uncomfortably warm. How was Louis going to act towards me now? Was he going to be mad that I left?

Without even thinking, I smiled at him. He was just so handsome, especially in his white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black striped Adidas. To my surprise, he smirked at me, followed by a wink.

I turned my attention back to Harry to continue the conversation.

"You really are quite the charmer, Harry," I chuckled again, suddenly reminded of his joke.

Before he could respond, Louis took a seat beside me. I laughed when I saw what was in his hands.

"Yorkshire?" I asked.

"Oi, did you really have to ask?" He chuckled.

"We don't usually demand much from Management," Harry drawled slowly. "But somehow Louis managed to have a constant supply of Yorkshire negotiated into his contract".

I raised an eyebrow in Louis' direction.

In any other circumstance, I would have noted how ridiculous that was, but knowing Louis, it was a clever negotiation. And quite honestly, it was cute that he cared enough about his favorite tea to go to such extensive lengths for it.

Kind of like what you're doing for your friendship, I thought to myself.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and wake up Niall. The cars leave for the stadium soon, and he'll be extremely upset if he doesn't get to eat."

I nodded and Harry got up and pushed in his chair.

"I had a lovely time chatting with you Liz, I'll see you later?"

I smiled up at him and nodded.

Then he left, leaving Louis and I alone together.

"Is he always this polite?" I asked.

Louis raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his tea.

"You mean polite enough not to tell you your jumper's inside out?"