Undoing Us - KNJ

14| J3

I woke up to a pounding sensation in my head.

"God...I will never drink empty stomach again" I huff out as I sit up and massage my forehead to relax my muscles. Looking around the room, I realize I am in an unfamiliar room, I look down to check myself and see that I am wearing a man's shirt with my underwear and bra intact but nothing else other than that, and then it hits me what I did last night.

Fuck!

My eyes survey the room, looking for traces of my stuff, finally find them neatly folded on the table by the bed with a note attached to them.

'Sorry, but they seemed uncomfortable ~ Namjoon'.

Smiling at his considerate gesture, I quickly grab them and change into them. once I'm done, I try to leave the room as quietly as I can because, to be honest, I am too embarrassed to face Namjoon. I shouldn't have had so much wine or maybe come here last night in that condition.

But I needed that so much because it helped me get perspective.

As I enter his hall I see him cooking something on the stove. "Leaving already?" his voice startles me. I did not expect him to speak to me after what happened.

"Yeah..." I feel the heat rushing to my face as I reply, "Sorry...for last night". His jaw tensed at the mention of last night but he continues to stir something in his pot.

"It's alright," he slides a bowl full of soup, " Here. Have some before you leave; it's meant to cure your hangover".

Sitting down quietly, I began having my soup, glancing at him once in a while. He continues with his soup silently. The air is super awkward between us. I can actually cut the thickness of it with a knife and probably fill my stomach with it.

What?!

Shaking my head off of these ridiculous thoughts, I continue to eat my soup and pretend to be okay with this silence. Clearing his throat, he finally utters, "I'm sorry--" he pauses "--for what happened last night-"

"It's okay" I cut him off.

"It will not happen again", he continues, sounding poised "as I don't want to spoil our bond."

Ouch! 

I don't know why but the possibility of not touching him again or seeing him in a romantic capacity stung me. Trying to keep a cool face, I nod my head in response and continue to stuff my mouth with the soup. 

But that sure did hurt like a bitch!

I don't know when or how but I could actually see myself settling down with him and him completely rejecting the idea of it hurts me so much. Finishing my bowl, I place it in the sink and leave for my home.

On my way back home, I realise that I still am very much married to my husband and that Joon was right. I should not be thinking about settling down with another man when I still very much love my husband.

But am I still in love with him?

I do! I have been with him for 9 long years! I can't give up on us now. I'm sure we can get through this. Getting involved with Joon would mean ending my 9 years of efforts for something that I don't even know would be worth it.

But deep down I know he is worth it.

No! No! You can't think about this stuff, you are married and he is monogamous! But I was also monogamous at one point and if given a chance, I would want to be monogamous again.

But would I want to be monogamous with Seojoon again? After getting such good sexual exposures?

Ugh! marriages are hard!