Undoing Us - KNJ

17| Her

Namjoon's POV

My evening started with me, grabbing a beer, and watching something on tv. As the edge of the bottle touches my lips, I am back to the moment her lips touched mine, my lips still feeling the tingling sensation of her lips—from our kiss this afternoon. My fingers automatically swiped over my lips.

I heard someone whimpering outside my door, breaking me from my thoughts, getting off of my couch, I twist my doorknob to open the door and see Y/N standing outside, crying, red puffy eyes, soaked in rain, completely broken.

I couldn't control myself from comforting her because I would rather lose myself in love than see her so broken. It pained me to see her in that state. 

Without asking anything, I engulfed her into my arms while she continues to sniffle in my embrace. I lifted her off the floor and took her inside, seating her down on my couch, not caring about her wetting the covers of it.

Grabbing a dry towel, I rush to her side, draping her in it while she continued to cry. I sit beside her, cradling her fragile body in my arms, letting her soak my body with her tears of pain for I could not bring myself to ask her the question regarding her state. I knew if I asked she would break down more.

Right now all I could think of was her pain, her smell and her.

"Se-jo" she sobs.

"Shh...let it be you don't have to talk" I try to comfort her but she shakes her head in tiny.

"I-I want t-o" sniffle, "he is-" she sniffle "chea-ting for fo-r months" and she breaks down again. "He wou-d rath-r" sob, "sp-en ni-t w-th her..."

But I understood what she wanted to say. I quietly tighten my grip around her because I can't see her falling apart like that and I silently promise whatever happens from here, I would not let anyone hurt her this much anymore.

I remember the bubbly girl she used to be, I saw her becoming this shell version of herself who believes that she is not lovable.

Why?

Why is she incapable of loving herself? Why does she need his validation to believe that she is worth it? Why does only his love makes her feel loved? Why does she feel that she is incapable of love or that she doesn't deserve to be loved?

If given a chance, I would not shy away from showing her how much she means to me...

Or how much I love her.

I feel her body getting heavier in my arms so I cradle her in my arms and take her to the guest bedroom. She is sleeping peacefully in my arms and I don't wish to wake her up but I know if I let her sleep like that she would definitely catch cold.

So I bring a fresh pair of my shirt and pajamas and change her out of her wet clothes. My eyes fall on the blue hickey covering her neck and my blood boils at the sight. I know she is not mine so I can't and should not get upset over how she chooses to live her life.

After changing her clothes, I place her properly on the bed, making sure that her wet hair is sprawled on the pillow away from her body. Wrapping a towel around her wet hair, I press it on her hair, trying to wipe as much water I can so that she doesn't catch a cold. But then I glance at her, snoring peacefully, red nose, swollen eyes but peaceful.

As if she was just waiting to see me; reach this level of comfort and dose off to sleep. I kiss her on her forehead, wishing she gets a good night of sleep.

I wish to stay by her side, cuddle her soft body, be there for her when she wakes up but I know I cant do that, for I have to protect my heart first and then look after her. You can't mend someone's broken heart with with a broken heart and I need myself healed before I mend hers.