OneShot Compilation

PAGE 6

SORRY

What the heck Jasmine? Binigay ko sa'yo ang lahat! But what is this? Nanlalaki ka!" sabi niya sabay pakita ng picture ko with Rei. My gay friend.

"Y-you misunderstood, Tris. T-that's not what you think," I said trying to explain. "Please b-baby. Let me----"

He cut me off. "No need to explain, jas. I already see enough," he said glaring at me like I'm a dirty whore. "Let's end this shit."

He left me there crying. He left without listening to the truth I have.

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"Ano ka ba naman Jasmine? All I just want is you to have a high grades! But what's this? Lowest grade is 89 and the highest is 93? Nag-aaral ka ba talaga?" My mom said.

"B-but that's all I can do, m-mom." I said, but she slap me. She slap me really hard.

"And now sumasagot ka na sa'kin? Wala kang utang ng loob! Mas mabuti pa sana kung pinalaglag nalang kita noon!" She said then left me there. Crying silently.

___________

"Ey, Kiel. Can you come to my condo? Kailangan ko lang kasi ng kausap eh." I asked Kiel. One of my besfriend.

["I'm sorry. I'm busy."] He said then cut off the line. Tumulo ang luha ko pero agad ko rin iyon pinahid gamit ang kamay ko.

I dialed a number again. I called my other besfriend, Bea.

"Bea, are you busy? Punta ka naman sa condo ko oh." I asked. Almost pleading.

I heard her sighed harshly. ["Ano ba Jasmine? Sobrang busy ko na nga ngayon tapos dadagdag ka pa? Pwede ba! Tumigil ka muna sa kadramahan mo kahit ngayon lang? Sawang-sawa na kasi ako sa kadramahan mo eh. Ang oa mo! Parang yan lang naman."] she said. Napatahimik naman ako. Why are they like this to me? Ano bang kasalanan ko?

["You know what Jasmine? You better get lost to my life. No, not just my life. To our life! Hindi namin kailangan ng kaibigan na tulad mo! Masyadong madrama!"] she said before cutting off the line. Tuluyan na akong napaiyak.

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I'm here now standing in my bathroom, facing my mirror. I just want to ask, what's wrong with me? Anong problema sa'kin at gustong-gusto nila akong mawala? Anong meron sa'kin at ayaw nila sa'kin?

But I think, it's too late now for knowing the reason why.

I'm sorry if im just like this. Sorry if hindi ko kayo mabigyan ng assurance. Sorry if hindi ako sapat para makontento kayo. Sorry if hindi ko maabot ang expectations niyo. Sorry if sobra akong madrama. Sorry if napaka-oa ko na para sa inyo. Sorry if pabigat lang ako sa inyo. Sorry dahil ayaw niyo sa'kin. Ganito lang kasi ako. Walang kwenta para sa inyo. Isang basura sa mga mata niyo.

Umiiyak akong kinuha ang gunting na dala-dala ko at itinutok sa leeg ko. I'm so tired of this. Tired of pain. Tired of hoping. Tired of everything.

"I'm sorry if I'm already tired of living. Wala na kasi akong magawa, so i chose to be lost forever than to live with pain." I said before ending my life.