The Traitor.

Life?

This chapter is from tommyinnits perspective :)
---------------------------------------------------------
I knew ranboo had done it as soon as he arrived back, enderpearling up to the window, which I quickly unlocked, letting him in, as he breathlessly nodded I noticed his eyes seemed that little bit brighter.
God, that wait was awful.
I just kept-I still couldn't get technos blood off my hands. It was still there, even though I cleaned them so much I was almost bleeding myself. I had a tendency to hallucinate things like this, but usually I went to dream to help. I just didn't want him to think I was too weak to do something as easy as murder without breaking down.
Anyone else, anyone else would have been easier to kill. Even tubbo was easier to kill.
At the end, techno told me to kill him, said that I had taken everything else, so why couldn't I just kill him.
I related with that just a little bit too much.
He thought ranboo was dead, which honestly made sense.
I know the others were executed around an hour earlier, but I think dream was savoring them, particularly techno, in this rare moment of weakness.
Dream killed Philza himself, and I can't pretend that watching that wasn't one of the worst things to ever happen to me.
He forced techno to watch.
I know it's selfish, but I couldn't help feeling smug at the fact that techno maybe understood what I went through when he murdered tubbo.
I expected the same thing to happen with techno, dream killing him, me having to stand there emotionless.
But when the time came, dream just handed me the axe. I remember that it had some weird enchantment on it, enabling it to take all of someone's Canon lives. It was netherite, softly glowing in the half-lit room.
It still had Philzas blood on it.
I didn't even comprehend my task for a second or two.
Dream had a certain look on his face, I could tell what it was even through the blood-splattered mask. I knew all too well what it meant, and even more well what would happen if I disobeyed him.
I remember plastering a fake look of confusion on my face.
Dream took one look at it and scoffed.
'just take the fucking axe and kill him.'
I want to tell myself that it was only the fact that I knew the revive book exists that enabled me to kill him, but deep down, I know that isn't the case.
Because there will always be that little part of me that enjoys killing, murdering. That little part that feeds off of peoples screams, and their blood. That small part of me that tells me that they deserve it.
That part of me is the madness.
I know it's there, and sometimes it shows itself. Usually when I feel strong emotions, like hatred or sadness. I haven't tested it with things like pride or happiness yet.
Maybe that could happen when I see tubbo and techno and Philza and, and... Well all of them! Alive!
I'm not really worried about them hating me, because, well, they kinda already do. Pricks.
Well, maybe Sam and puffy were nice to me. Although I still think they're pussies.
At least they're revived?!
Fuck, that book was hard to get. So much fuckin redstone, although the password dream set up was easy to guess. (it was Georges birthday).

I can't imagine what this must be like for ranboo. I took everything from him, but, I guess every hero needs an origin story and if I'm the villan of his then, so be it I guess. As soon as this is over, everyone will trust him and I can.. Retire. I'll give the revive book to techno one the war is over . He's unlikely to revive me, and he'll keep ranboo safe, and as long as ranboos safe, then tubbo is I guess. They seem like a duo from what dream told me. It sucks for me that they replaced me so easily but... Well, what can you do right?
Ranboo himself is interesting I suppose. I killed his best friend, and his reaction to that was to make friends with me. I join dream and his reaction is to say he forgives me.
He says a lot of things.
He says he doesn't mind that I'm insane
He says he cares about me.
He says it's okay to feel mad about what they did to me, about exile.
But he doesn't seem to really get it.
I'm insane, but only because I stopped fighting.
I want him to care about me, but every time he says it I'm terrified, because everyone who ever said that hurt me.
And I'm not mad about exile. Im mad that nobody else is.
He seems to think I'm good, but I'm really not. I'm truly bad, but not like, dream bad, not powerful, controlling, manipulating, smart.
More like annoying, selfish, uncaring for others, reckless, a petty theif, a raccoon ect.
I'd like to change, I really would, but that's impossible. It is for me at least.
Its too late for me.
But it's not too late for him.
-------------------------------------------------
872 words :)
Thanks for 800 reads lol
Please remember to take care of yourself :]