Only You

Reconciliation

Aelin woke to an excruciating ache in her head and a faint stinging in her hands. She struggled to open her eyes; but when she did the room around her was unfamiliar, the clean stone walls, the white sheets, the strong scent of lavender in her nose. She tried to turn her head, moving slowly to avoid triggering the sharp pains.

"You should try to lay still." She heard shifting beside her. "I'm going to get a healer."

She froze at that voice. She didn't dare move for fear that she was still out of it and she would wake up and it not be real. She remained deathly still as she tried to calm her erratic breathing. More voices sounded, getting closer.

A healer moved close to the bed, touching a hand to her forehead, featherlight, careful not to put too much pressure. "She doesn't have a fever, a good sign that the wound is not infected." The healer smiled down at her. "I'll help you sit up and then fetch some water." They did just that, placing their hands under her arms and hoisting Aelin up into a sitting position, then scurrying off.

Aelin dared a glance to her right, and the breath was knocked out of her at the sight of him.

Rowan was perched on the edge of his seat, staring intently.

He had dark circles beneath his eyes, his silver hair haphazardly tied back and his usual clothes replaced with faded grey pants and a shirt that looked like it had seen better days. She choked back a sob. He was here.

He came back.

He didn't smile, but his face was concerned. Perched at the edge of the chair, he looked like he was ready to jump up at a moments notice. She didn't know what to say, what to do. She thanked the Gods when the healer came back in with some water. She warned her to be slow, but she gulped it back, emptying the glass.

"I'll go fetch some more." The healer left again. When they returned Aelin clasped the glass in her hands, taking small sips, wetting her dry mouth.

"If you need anything I'll be just around the corner."

Rowan nodded his thanks towards the healer and turned his attention to her once more.

"How do you feel?" His voice was croaky, like he hadn't spoken in days.

Aelin winced. "I've been better."

"You had a nasty fall." He cleared his throat. "I didn't realise falling from a carriage could cause such a wound."

She had fallen from a carriage?

"Lysandra filled me in."

"How long have I been out?" She couldn't remember anything.

"Two days."

How they'd contacted Rowan so quick and for him to arrive here in two days was impossible. "How did you—' she winced at the pain. "How did they get a message to you so fast?"

"They didn't..." he gave her a pained look. "I felt it."

"What?" She gave a quizzical look.

"The... bond. I could feel your pain." He shuddered. "I didn't know what was happening. I just knew you were hurt and I needed to be here."

She tried and failed to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Rowan." She wiped at the tears. "I am so so sorry." Her voice a mere whisper.

He didn't hesitate as he came to perch on the edge of her bed, his hand clasping her own.

"You have nothing to apologise for." His grip on her hand so gentle she barely felt the squeeze of pressure, his other hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I was awful to you." She sniffed. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you never came back."

He looked startled at her words. His grip on her hand loosening ever so slightly. "I should have told you I was going." He murmured.

Aelin gazed into his pine green eyes, she saw the pain, the guilt— mirroring her own. "I shouldn't have shut you out."

Rowan didn't say anything for a moment. "I do not know how I am meant to act, what I'm meant to say or do, I will no doubt get it wrong." He paused. "All I know is that I would do anything for you, even if it means not being with you." He brushed his thumb across her hand, a small act of tenderness. "I will walk away right now if you want me to. If that's what would make you happy; because that's all I want, your happiness."

Aelin felt the bond flutter between them, the thread of that bond tugging them together, entwining them. He was speaking so tenderly, his focus on their entwined hands, the brushes of his thumb across her skin. She tried to think of her life without Rowan, of her future, and it hurt to think of it. Worse than the pain of breaking a bone, or falling from a carriage, worse than the death of a parent, a friend. She trembled at the thought of Rowan leaving, of never seeing him. She couldn't stomach it.

"I want you to stay."

He looked up. Eyes brightening at her words.

"I will make mistakes, and I will get angry. I will probably say things I don't mean— I can be impulsive and mean at times. But the thought of you leaving..." She struggled to find the words. "I can't imagine it. It pains me to think of it."

"We'll figure it out together." He kissed their entwined hands.

"I'm glad it's you, Rowan." And she meant it.

They moved toward each other, Aelin ignoring the ache of her head, her eyes fluttered closed, her body alive with the promise of a kiss. She could feel Rowan's breathing turn ragged as they moved closer, the scent of pine and snow wrapping around her. She burned for his lips on hers, for the taste of her mate, of her soul-bonded. She knew he felt the same, his magic flaring as their noses brushed.

"I've wanted to kiss you for what feels like a very long time." He was so close, she felt the warmth of his breath on her lips. "You have no idea how much."

She smiled lightly. "I think I have some idea."

And then their mouths were touching. Slow at first, tentative as they familiarised themselves with the other; and it felt like a warm summer breeze, gentle and sweet. She shifted to place her hands on his face, his skin warm beneath her palms. She was pulling him towards her, the kiss like fire and it was burning every part of her. She wanted nothing more than to have his lips against her for the rest of her life, have the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips. He felt solid and safe, she wanted to be wrapped in his embrace forever. And when they pulled apart, their breathing heavy, she stared into the eyes of her mate and felt that bond settle into place, felt their souls joining, the force of their bond enough to devour worlds.