The world from my mind

WHAT! !!!!!?????

He did it.

Remember almost eternity ago, when zayn told harry that he was going to leave the band on February 30 and harry cried for hours before he realised that there was no February 30, well those were the good old days....and harry was not soo lucky this time.

He did it.
He did it.
He did it.
He did it.

Zayn left the band.

I am currently in a state of shock right now.

I am speechless.

I knew this day was going to come one day or another, but I just wasn't prepared for it.

My Zayn.

He was the first person I had seen in 1d, the first vedio I had seen was kiss you, and the first face I saw was Zayns....

It was at that moment that life seemed better, when my days would just pass by in a blur of watching thier interviews and downloading all their songs and trying to suck up all the information I could about them,  when I used to fangirl till it physicality hurt.

My Zayn.

My boys.

My five idiots who made me smile all the time.

I cant say that anymore huh?

Zayn left the band.

There was a time when I wad truly, madly and deeply in love with zayn....but as the years passed by,  like late 2014, I felt that zayn was changing,  he was going futhur and futhur from the boys....after that   the whole cheating scandal just made him move even futhur from them,  I could see it, even though I didn't want to belive it, that zayn didd't want to be there.

I personally belive that he was not cheating on perrie, I mean Lauren was just a fan! But the media made such a big deal off it!  Zayn couldn't take it,

He left the OTRA tour because of stress, 

When this happened I thought that zayn was just going to take some rest, stay with perrie and his family for some time, but.....I still had a feeling somewhere deep down that mabey he was not coming back.....not ever coming back.

And well it turns out I was right.

One direction ....I'm not sure I can call them that anymore....but harry, louis, liam and niall will carry on as a four piece band and make the fifth album.

But what is one direction without zayn?

How can they record another album without zayn?

How?

Right now I am emotionally unstable and I am soo schoked I can't even cry.

I feel sorry for the new directioneers who just joined, they will never be able to enjoy our vas happenin man.

Although even zayn confirmed that he left the group, I will always cling on to the hope that he will return,  Zayn will return

My zayn will return and join my boys.

My boys.

And those five idiots will make me smile again.

My one direction.

I will never give up hope.

But untill then , please excuse me while a drown myself in my own tears...-saucegirl