north//spencer reid

chapter twenty one

genre: some angst, some fluff, some smut

pairing: season thirteen spencer reid x oc

warnings: mentions of prison, physical violence, smut and implied smut, implied anxiety and panic

word count: 11.5k

summary: amelia tries to get spencer reintegrated into life outside of prison.

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AMELIA

After three weeks of being cooped up at home with Spencer, I decide it's time to get him out of his comfort zone a bit. I can't say he's doing exponentially better, but he's doing better. He's more relaxed and he's more talkative now, and he's more open for cuddling than he was previously. He's not yet constantly spewing out statistics in the way I love and miss so dearly, but he did tell me the other day how many people at a time are watching any given television channel, and I smiled for hours afterward. But I decide that it's time to take Spencer out and get him integrated back into normal life.

"I was thinking we could go grocery shopping because we definitely need a lot more food in this house. And then obviously we'll have to come back to put it away. But then I was thinking that maybe I could take you to a thrift shop or we could go to the bookstore. And maybe later, we could go to our cafe. We haven't been in forever and I thought it would be a good way to finish off the day. Sound good?"

I had shouted that whole thing to Spencer from the bathroom to the bedroom and maybe that wasn't the best option to go with, but I didn't think he would have a problem hearing me. But after a few seconds of him not responding, I started to question that. Maybe he didn't hear me.

Spencer is sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed and fiddling with his sobriety medallion in his hand. It's not an object that has made much of an appearance the last few weeks, but I imagine that's because I've been around. From what I gather, Spencer thinks that I'm more viable support than a piece of metal with a compass rose on the back.

"You okay?" I ask, adjusting my butterfly necklace before going to sit next to him on the bed. He doesn't look up at me, just keeps moving the metal between his fingers. It's like we're right back at day one with his silence, and I won't lie and say it's not a little frustrating. "Love, if you're nervous about going out, I'm gonna be right next to you the entire time. I'm not gonna leave you and I'm not gonna let anyone touch you and if you want, I'll hold your hand the whole time. But I've gotta get you out of this apartment at some point, right? We're gonna get some groceries and then come back here. And if you're really overwhelmed, then we can either not go back out today or we can take a break here and go out later."

Spencer gulps and takes the medallion into his palm, making a fist. "You won't leave me alone? You promise?" He looks over at me with his pretty eyes wide.

"I promise. I won't leave you alone for even a second. I wouldn't do that to you," I speak slowly in hopes that it will connect in his head and comfort him. Thankfully, it does, because he nods. "Okay, good. Get some shoes on and we'll get going."

Within the next fifteen minutes, I'm grabbing a cart and walking down an aisle with Spencer stuck to my side, his arm brushing mine. "So," I say, tossing my backpack into the front child seat, "is there anything you wanted in particular? We don't really have a list, other than the essentials."

Spencer looks around the first aisle we've walked down, filled with cereal and granola. "Um, I don't know. I don't think so."

I hadn't expected much more than that answer out of him so I just keep us walking, tossing whatever seems appetizing into the cart. But Spencer seems to be doing fine during this grocery shopping trip. He eventually puts a couple of things in the cart that he wants and even debates with me about whether peanut butter or Nutella is better (it's totally Nutella, but Spencer claims it's peanut butter). One other customer came just a little bit too close and Spencer jerked away and clung to my side and then didn't talk for ten minutes, and then later on, another customer came close and he barely noticed. It's crushing to see his low moments but his high moments are so uplifting.