Let's All Just Blindfold The Poor, We Must Remind Them What's In Store

Sarah, Spot and Bryan

Sarah Jacobs was a respectable girl. She had an average amount of friends, straight A's and a roof to sleep under. And that's all you need to know about her. Or at least, that's all that she would let you know about her.

She wouldn't tell you about her obsession with romance novels, or about how she studies more than anything else, even though she doesn't really have to. She wouldn't tell you about her rising anxieties that she might have a talent, she wouldn't tell you about the tension in her home, or how she lost her best friend when she was 13 and it was all her fault.

On the outside of the Jacob's house, everything seemed so nice. They looked like a perfect little family, with a father who works, a mother who cooks, a reserved daughter, promising older son, and a cheery younger son.

Isn't that what all perfect American families should be? But, there's always struggle underneath. Something's always wrong, or being hidden. In this case, it's her brother. And every night she deals with the fact that this is her fault that they don't speak anymore, and she still does nothing about it.

Well, to be truthful, the fact that he was born weaker than the rest of her family isn't her fault. But, she always thinks that she could have helped more with something at the very least.

Like for example, she could have helped him hide it, instead of immediately ratting him out to their parents. Or, she could have continued to be his support, his voice of wisdom, his best friend; instead of neglecting him out of fear. Or, she at least could have apologized. But she still barely regards him - he would never forgive her for all of that.

And how could he? She remembered that on that night, when they first realized that something was wrong with them, she begged her parents to move her bed. She cried and pleaded and said that she was scared of him. She thought that her life was the worst one ever to be lived that day, but David didn't sleep through her screams. He heard everything, and even asked if she was ok once she sorrowfully laid down in her bed.

She remembered every time she ignored him, even at simple questions, and he began to try to talk to her less and less. She remembered when she wouldn't let him near Les, and the first time she saw him holding her baby brother she almost had a breakdown.

But David was never mad at her. He never ignored her the few times she tried to talk, he never gave backhand comments, or resented her for growing up one million worlds apart from him.

And years ago, that just made Sarah more mad. At first she thought it was because he thought he was better than her, stronger even - but now she realizes that it was because he couldn't afford to. Sarah would hear her parents training him to hide his emotions. To never let anything show, because if it did, then he could hurt someone.

They let Sarah cry in their arms, they let Les have fits and scream, but the moment David laughed too loud, or had even a hint of sadness on his face, their hearts stopped.

And it wasn't fair, Sarah knew that. She had also been different her whole life, her whole family was. But, she didn't realize just how different completely shutting off your senses was. If Les was being particularly loud, she could almost turn off her hearing, or at least dim it. She could do that with her whole body if she was feeling a texture she didn't like, she could do it with her nose if something smelled foul, or her eyes if something looked truly horrible. But what she wished she could do, was shut off her heart. She wished she didn't feel guilty every time she walked into her house, everytime that she remembered she hadn't seen a real emotion on her brother's face in years. Especially now, now that she has time to think, she's decided that she's most likely in the same boat as him. A weak child that was burdened with extra strength.

And she didn't know what to do. She couldn't run to her brother, he would never take her back. He could snap, after all of the years of resentment and dirty looks and fear, only for her to have the same thing that made them turn into strangers. She couldn't tell her parents, she would just be treated like David, all emotions severed, unable to live freely. And if she told anyone else, she would just end up in the refuge. No, she's 19 now. She would be taken directly to death row.