feel like my body is not my own
not feeling well, feeling ill
trying to figure myself out
can't tell if I'm the host or a new alter, it's hella confusing :/
nightmares are hella hard to get through, they fucking suck.
the most recent nightmare i had had an ex friend in it and we got r@ped and it felt really real, in the nightmare, i was telling her all about my newest comfort character; The Punisher aka Frank Castle but also known as Pete and fastforward, we're cuddling like we normally would, and we were kidnapped or something and i told her that i was pretty sure i was a trans man and she asked if i was sure and i said yes and she said she didnt think so so that was sucky and then fastforward again the kidnappers got sloppy and we made a run for it, spoiler alert; we couldn't get away and he had a knife and i held my friend away from him and tried to tell her to run and he swung at us and i lifted my arm up and he cut into my wrist and it felt really fucking real and he smirked at me and i glared at him and he said something like "how long do you think you can keep this up?" and i dont remember what i said and fastforward, we tried to run again but couldn't get away so i slit his throat with the knife and he was gurgling on his own blood and he fell and i took the knife but then he had a gun and was shooting at us and i forgot to mention he slashed my leg so i was limping and my friend looked terrified and adrenaline was pumping and it was terrifying. i hated the whole thing.
so yeah, i woke up from that feeling very close to having a meltdown so that was great! :D (not really) now i feel pretty numb but i'll make sure to tell our therapist about this nightmare the next time we see her.
Ren out.
YOU ARE READING
The Youngest
HorrorWe hold absolutely nothing back in this book; these are unfiltered thoughts btw. We write in this book to vent / rant; whatever we need. We will update this book as we go on. This is a Diary of sorts for a Complex DID System whose been through RAMC...
