I used to wish to be a bird so I could fly away from my life. I didn't wish it for very long though only from 6-12. I stopped wishing after that. Stopped praying too.. I only ever prayed for my family to live happily and to make it really old. I didn't want them to die from an unnatural cause, I wished for them to make it to old age..
There was one time though, that I wished to be rich. So I could make my family rich too. I felt guilty about that prayer for awhile but now I wonder why..
It wasn't a selfish prayer at all. You were just a kid, put into this bleak world with a smile on your face. I want that smile back. Before all the crazy shit happened or while in it.. maybe that smile was false, maybe it never happened.. maybe we're holding onto it out of fear, fear that our thoughts are correct and we never had a happy childhood, never had a moments peace..
I don't know anymore, we're trying to stave off from "finding out" until we get a therapist but that could take awhile.. we don't want to destabilize ourselves but.. we want to heal. One step at a time, one day at a time.. we've got this. We can make it, I believe.
~ Rory, She/Her
{6/16/23}-{5:28 AM}
YOU ARE READING
The Youngest
HorrorWe hold absolutely nothing back in this book; these are unfiltered thoughts btw. We write in this book to vent / rant; whatever we need. We will update this book as we go on. This is a Diary of sorts for a Complex DID System whose been through RAMC...
