The Truth About Us (COMPLETED)

01

I stopped packing my things when my eyes accidentally land on the mirror in front of me. Dahan-dahan kong ibinaba ang damit na nakaamba ko na sanang ilalapag sa bag para lapitan ang salamin.

Tumayo ako para tignan ang sarili kong repleksiyon. I'm still the same woman... but there's something that has changed. My face still resembles the woman I became years ago but there are some differences only I noticed now or these past few days only. Hindi ko alam kung kapansin-pansin ba iyon o ako lang ang nakakakita. Ako lang ang nakakapansin sa delubyong pilit kong nilalabanan nang palihim. Walang nakakaalam. Wala akong nalalapitan.

I traced the visible lines of wrinkles that were not yet here sixteen years ago. Hindi naman iyon masyadong kita kung hindi ka tinatapunan ng tingin. It presents the years added to my life, my old age. I didn't know that sixteen years have passed... parang ilang daang taon na ang dinaanan ko para piliting mabuhay... kahit gusto ko ng tapusin ang lahat.

Hindi ang mga senyales ng katandaan ang napansin ko talaga sa sarili ko ngunit ang mata ko. They are dead.

Just like me. Alive but already dead inside.

Isang maliit na ngiti ang pumuskaw sa labi ko. I should not let myself be bothered by it. Ilang oras na lang, pipilitin kong buhayin iyon. Gaya ng pagpilit kong buhayin muli ang sarili ko.

We will strive to be alive again, not only just by breathing.

My eyes were still fixated on the mirror but I'm circulating thoughts in my head. I'm okay during the years of my marriage... but I'm not happy.

I'm choosing my own happiness right now. For years, I've been leeching happiness from my daughter. She made me happy but not to the extent I've been thanking the divine entity for bringing me alive to this world.

It's time I'll make myself my own source of happiness. Happy on my own which I find not too difficult as I have been molded for years already. To deal on my own. I've been in solitude for years already and I survived on myself, alone and with no one to depend on. Magiging madali naman na siguro ang lahat.

Sisiguraduhin kong sasaya na ako.

A continuous knock outside my door pulled me from my reverie. Hindi ko na kailangan pang alamin kung sino ang nasa labas dahil bago pa ako magtanong, bumukas na bigla ang pinto.

I put back my smile as I pulled myself from the mirror and trudged to where my luggage was located.

I smiled widely at the person who continues to stride inside my room and lay comfortably in my bed. Akala ko ay gagantihan niya ang ngiti ko gaya nang lagi niyang ginagawa dati ngunit tahimik lang niya akong pinagmasdan. Na para bang kinakabisado niya ang mukha ko at iniisip na matagal kaming hindi magkikita.

As if I will let that happen.

Gone is the bubbly daughter today. All I can see was a young woman who looks confused and troubled.

Ibinaba ko ang hawak kong damit at lumapit sa kanya. Nawalan na ako ng paki sa hindi ko matapos-tapos na pag-iimpake. I will throw everything in my hands, regardless of how important they were, just to make my child safe, alright, and happy.

Marahan ko siyang dinaluhan sa kama at iniangat ang ulo niya para ihiga sa hita ko. I combed her hair like I usually do when she is still a kid to lull her to sleep. But this time, to soothe her. To free her from what's bothering her.

Natigil ako sa paghaplos sa buhok niya nang mabasa ang bestida ko. Tears. Freshly, hot produced tears coming for my daughter. I hitched my breath. Nasasaktan akong nasasaktan ang anak ko.

"Hansse," pagtawag ko sa kanya. Dahan-dahan siyang umahon mula sa pagkakahiga at hindi nahihiyang ipakita na umiiyak siya. I don't want her to cry but I'm glad she can show her feelings to me without hesitating. Masaya akong hindi nahihiyang magsabi sa akin ang anak ko ng mga bagay-bagay na nagpapasaya at gumugulo sa isipan niya.