The Truth About Us (COMPLETED)

38

The last thing Nessie said was etched in my memory. Carved so I can completely remember every single word that can hurt me everytime I take a walk down the memory lane.

So no. Paano ko makakalimutan at makakatulog kung paulit-ulit na naglalaro sa utak ko ang eksenang iyon?

I lay in our bed with my hand pressed to my forehead and eyes, letting me be comfortable with the darkness.

I know that confessing I love her after all my wrongdoings was already a bad idea. Pero iyong alukin ko siyang bigyan ako ng panibagong pagkakataon, sobrang tanga at kapal naman na ng pagmumukha ko.

Hindi ko na sana siya hinabol pa sa kuwarto niya. Alam kong hindi siya handa kanina, pero hindi ko rin alam na hindi ako handa sa mga sasabihin niya.

She gave me reasons why she cannot give me a chance anymore.

I know I hurt her but hearing what I did wrong from her mouth, it confirms that I really failed as her husband. Wala akong magandang memoryang naibigay sa kanya. Para akong sinuntok nang paulit-ulit nang sabihin niya kung paano ko siya nadismaya at nasaktan sa hindi pagsulpot kung kailan kailangan niya ako.

That deemed me as an undeserving person for her love.

I rubbed that part of my chest that hurt when I reckoned what she said about my unworthiness. What she said hurt me, but witnessing that it hurts her too pained me more.

Kanina ko nalaman na may nararamdaman pa rin siya sa akin na kaunti ngunit hindi iyon dahilan para bigyan niya kami ng pagkakataon para sumaya muli. It seems like I scarred her from finding happiness again not only from me, but from other as well. I never think that I wanted to hurt myself until this time.

Isang malalim na paghinga ang pinakawalan ko. Hindi ko alam kung maibabalik ko pa ba ang pakikitungo niya sa akin dahil sa pagkakamali ko. I ruined the comfort I was slowly building between us.

All because those words are driven by my emotions. 

I guess I should have waited for more time, a period where she can be more welcoming to the concept.

I was forced to come downstairs for breakfast. I was hesitant at first. I do not know what I'm saving, my heart or my face.

Clearly, ayoko ring bumaba dahil may tyansang pag nagkaharap ulit kami ni Nessie, baka parehas makita ang sakit sa mata naming dalawa. We do not want Hansse to know, she should stay unaware of this. Lalo na at ikinasisiya niya ang pagiging malapit naming dalawa ng nanay niya.

I faltered on my steps when I saw Nessie and Oscar at the end of the stairs arguing. Mainit ang pagtatalo nila base sa pagkunot ng noo ni Nessie at ang pag-igting ng panga ni Oscar. Dahil hindi masagap ng pandinig ko ang sinasabi nila ay napagdesisyunan kong lumapit.

Natigil sila nang nasa harapan na nila ako. They separated, thinking that they were blocking the way.

"Good morning," pagbati ko.

Tumango si Oscar. "Sir."

Hindi ko pinansin si Oscar at nanatiling nakamasid kay Nessie. She was all that mattered yet it seems I was the contrary to her. So much for forgetting what happened last night.

Nang alam kong wala akong mahihitang kahit isang salita galing kay Nessie, ibinaling ko na lang ang atensyon ko kay Oscar. Ipinakita kong hindi ako naapektuhan sa presensya ng babae kahit na sa gilid ng mata ko ay pinagmamasdan ko siya.

"Anong pinag-uusapan niyo?" O pinagtatalunan.

Oscar cleared his throat. "Sir, si Ma'am ipinagpipilitan po na lumabas ngayon kahit sobrang delikado."