For Grisha, for Ravka (a Darkling prequel)

Chapter 14

He hadn't expected it.
Not at all.
When Aleksander felt something was wrong in the wine, it was too late.
But nothing stung more than hearing his wife confessing her crime.

Why?
That question tormented him, as he pretended to be unconscious while he felt the poison running in his veins, his power struggling to come out to rescue him.

Why?
He believed that she loved him, that they were a happy couple. He didn't expect to be backstabbed in that way.
He had laid still, bearing the excruciating pain, curious to know if his wife learned about what he was, if she was a Grisha he failed to detect.
Instead she ordered for him to be buried quickly.
His precious bones, that every Grisha would hunt, would be wasted.
After he was placed in his stony tomb, he allowed his powers to heal him, to push the poison out of his veins.
It was terribly painful, but not as the pain he felt for the betrayal.
Being free to use his power was a little comfort.
Making sure that nobody was around, he removed the heavy stone from his sarcophagus and stood up.

Resurrected again.
"Rest in peace, Kiril" he whispered to the empty tomb after erasing any trace of his escape.
"Just another fool, victim of the silly ideal of love and trust" he spat, letting his anger and his shadows becoming his armor.
He was ready to take his revenge, to torture Alyssa in the worst possible ways.
But also a question kept tormenting him.
Why?

So he patiently waited, spying on her, to learn all the truth.
She sacrificed him to save her people.
She knew nothing about his powers, his past. She didn't know that it was harder to kill him than killing any common human.
Aleksander felt reborn when he was finally allowed to use his powers to hide from her.
He heard her crying, her screaming in the middle of the night. And every night he waited for her to be asleep to blow of the candle that she used to lit for him.
He followed her to the south, seeing her idea of revenging him.

And back to Askerk, he realized that suddenly he couldn't hide anymore.

Aleksander leaned against a column, watching the woman stepping silently between the tombs, until she stopped in front of Kiril's.
Baghra used her powers to open the tomb, finding an old skeleton.
Her son stepped out of the darkness, making himself visible to her.
"Who's that?" she asked turning to him with no surprise and pointing at the skeleton.
"Another random general" he shrugged.
They reunited after many months and yet they didn't share any word of affection for each other.
"I thought it would take longer for you to find me".
She smirked "Fool. You couldn't resist to power and rose to the highest rank you could get. I learned how to find you. And I've been improving this new talent for each of your new identity. You married an otkazat'sya".
She spat the last words like an unforgivable sin.
"You met her" he acknowledged. Although he had been there to witness the meeting, almost fearing that his mother would take revenge by telling Alyssa the truth.
Baghra approached him with heavy steps and betrayed eyes "Was it to torment me? Following your grandfather's mistakes?".
Aleksander didn't budge "This time no child was born to bear all this mess".
But she didn't buy it "You've never been a family man. Why that girl?".
Why?
Aleksander pondered how to explain it.
"She gave me power, my title. And she has some weird effect on me" he revealed, finally free to say it aloud after so many months of acting "I still can't explain it. But I feel a surreal peace when I'm with her".
His mother scoffed with a mocking grin "Is that why you're still around? Spying on her?".
"She poisoned me" he confessed.
It didn't surprise her as he hoped.
"So bad. And you let her live?".
Aleksander clenched his jaw.
"There are worse punishments than a death sentence. She had been forced to do that. And now she's revenging me. It's interesting to watch her act. She's very resolute. She's more brutal than me. She'll burn the whole world down for me. Is that what troubles you?".
Baghra hissed "She stinks of Fjerda. And you're blinded by the little mystery she is. She's an otkazat'sya. She will be gone in a blink of an eye".
He didn't need to be reminded. That was what kept him there, being her shadow to enjoy that weird effect that only she managed to have on him. How long before he could find a similar power? He didn't want to be back to his blank, meaningless existence, shadowed by the Fold that he himself created to remind him that he wasn't powerful enough.
He grew used to be drunk with that bliss.
"I know" he whispered.
"Don't tell me you care for her that much to wear that face".
His expression hardened again "I don't want to lose that blissful feeling. I've been hiding, scared and tormented for most of my life. Don't I deserve some happiness? Some peace?".
"Peace is for the dead. Happiness?" she laughed mockingly "Did she make you happy? She poisoned you. You said that".
He rolled his eyes. He didn't need to be reminded.
"But we were happy. We completed each other somehow" he hated sounding so childish, like he couldn't let go of a toy. Surely that was how his mother was seeing him in that moment "I fear losing her. If only her power or whatever it is can be preserved somehow".
"You are trying to grasp something that can't last forever. It's just a sparkle. You blink and it's gone. Why did you tell her your name?".
He clenched his jaw. But that was the only secret he had unveiled.
"It slipped out of my mouth. I loved hearing her saying it".
"Fool" his mother repeated harshly "You had so many otkazat'sya lovers, you also married some of them, but just for a bigger purpose. Now you married her for yourself. And your illusions".
Aleksander let out a noise of annoyance and turned away, towards the dark wall, and beyond that the Shadow Fold of his creation "There's no need to remind me how hopeless I am".
His mother moved closer "You're not alone. Come with me. Let's find a quiet place where you can recover from this".

"I can't leave" he said as a matter of fact "It's like I found light and now I don't want to leave it".
"Your idea of her is just an illusion. You can find peace in yourself, if you can forgive yourself what you did".
Could he?
He wasn't strong enough.
"I'll stay next to her until her last breath. And if this peace will last, I'll keep her with me like a relic".
A faint smirk curled his lips at the wicked image that flashed in his mind. Wicked, but so bittersweet.
Baghra gasped and stepped back, away from his darkness
"You're out of your mind, boy".
He looked at her, her fragile features, so human due to her lack of exercise for her power.
"When the time will come, I'll find you. We will start over, together. But for now, my place is with Alyssa".
He hoped that his words sounded like a pleasant promise, instead she snorted.
"I hate that name" she blurted.
"You hate to have a daughter in law. But you would love to have grandchildren to play with".
It sounded funny, but he knew that she wouldn't be so cold and indifferent if there were children involved.
She had been a mother, but she believed that no woman was worthy of her son.
"I can live without that. All I care of is seeing my son being a little wiser again".
Wiser, but still lonely.
Aleksander forced a small smile and grabbed her hand, a little gesture that melted her heart.
"Give me just some years, mother. Alyssa and I had great visions for a better world, a reunited Ravka and a safe place for the Grisha. After some decades, maybe less if she'll get killed in her revenge mission, I'll work on that dream, making it true".
Baghra breathed deeply and he wished to tell more, about Lara, about how Grisha could fit in the new world he planned to shape.
"You're just a visionary" she said pitifully, unable to share his hope "It won't happen. Things seem changing, but the world will just be the same. We'll be feared and hated and we won't earn their love as it had always been".
Aleksander stepped away. Away from her hopelessness, back into the solitude of his darkness.
"I'll prove you wrong" he promised. Not just to her, but also to himself.
I'll prove you wrong.

A/N

Sunday 31st October 2021

Happy Halloween! 🎃

This is my way to celebrate it, bringing back Aleks into the story 👻