For Grisha, for Ravka (a Darkling prequel)

Chapter 16

Alyssa was grateful that none of her friends dared to talk to her about what happened.
Their main mission, their mission to save Ravka, was at a stake, so it kept them busy with plotting and studying the city that Darius had chosen as the capital of his new kingdom.
Ronan was busy at gathering his dispersed army, while Jase decided to help Alyssa one last time, placing their friendship before his duties as the general's apprentice.
She wished she could play her role without the need of any support, but when finally she was standing in front of the house of her worst enemy, she felt so small and powerless that she welcomed the company of her last friend, who didn't abandon her even in her darkest hours.
Probably she had just few hours of life left. Maybe Ronan and his army were about to be slaughtered as well, if their plan had been anticipated and Darius had gathered the support of his Shu allies.
The more she thought about it, the more she believed she brought Ravka's last hope into a trap. She had started it anyway. When she had stolen her country of its precious young General.
Alyssa covered her face with her shaking hands.
No. She couldn't afford to be doubtful and scared when she had walked so far only for that moment, only for that chance to stand at the doors of the wicked men who from so far managed to destroy her home, not once but twice.
With her eyes closed, she saw once again her home, the palace of the Kirigans, burning to ashes, the fire swallowing it whole like a giant monster.
Then she focused on her husband's face and how it was painful so watch him dying in her arms, knowing that it was her fault.
But that hadn't been her choice.
Her hand had been forced by Darius.
He had menaced her people.

Alyssa breathed deeply, checked her uniform, and nodded at Jase in dismissal, maybe for the last time.
She lifted her head towards the high palace and pretended not to feel intimidated.
Then she forced her legs to move and stepped into the crowd that marched into the lion's den.

What surrounded her was so different, so exotic, that for a moment Alyssa wished to stop and admire the richly decorated halls.
But she couldn't be distracted. Not when she was so close to her target.
She curved her back, looking like a fragile poor girl, in the clothes that made her look like any other servants that worked in the ground floor of that large palace.
Days of marching under the sun didn't improve the sick shade of her skin.
For a moment she envied the sunkissed shade of the people around her.
Then she realized she couldn't envy the climate of terror they lived in.
Specially when she met the man, compared to whom her previous victims were innocent lambs.
It wasn't surprising that someone so cruel worked for Darius the impostor.

"You're new, right?" he asked towering her and scanning her shamelessly.
Alyssa nodded, keeping her head low.
The man grabbed her chin and roughly pulled her face up, scanning her features.
"You really need a bath. Where did you come out from? Filth?".
She didn't react at his touch. She didn't mind if they were in the middle of a corridor and the passersby could witness that pitiful scene. He cared even less.
"I'm here to serve" she said firmly.
"Yeah, you will" he mocked "But you need to get the King's approval, first. I really hope you're not fragile as you look".
His hands roamed shamelessly all over her body, groping her.
None of the people around them cared.
The man turned more aggressive, scratching at her, then punched into her stomach, making her double up.
He laughed "He likes to be very rough. Not every girl comes out alive from his room".
She bit her lip to avoid calling him a monster.
"Hey, what are you looking at?" the man addressed to someone at her back.
She stiffened, praying that it wasn't Jase, that he wouldn't waste her plan.
She could make it. She could survive it on her own.
Inhaling deeply she straightened her back and crossed the evil man's eyes.
"Good. Don't whine, don't try to look pitiful. Maybe you'll have a chance to see another day".
She doubted it, but kept her mouth shut.
"Get clean clothes and take a damned bath. Come back here when you're ready".
With one last vulgar touch, he shoved her away.
Alyssa bit her tongue and walked away, until she was out of that hell, until she could finally run away as fast as she could, until she met friendly arms that held her as she dropped her mask and was allowed to pour out her tears.