Between Us: A Spelivia Love Story

Ch. 18: Do Better

Spencer James

 Spencer and Olivia decided it was best to spend the rest of their night at the Bakers residence with Jordan and Laura. Olivia wanted nothing more than to be with her family and Spencer understood her wholeheartedly. 

"Spencer, the guest room is down the hall to the right" Laura pointed at the bedroom as everyone walked up the stairs.

"Thank you, Mrs. Baker" He said as he entered the bedroom. Spencer set his belongings on the dresser and walked toward the nightstand. He reached inside of his jeans and stashed his gun in the drawer.

"So you're...sleeping in here tonight?" Olivia inquired as she stood at the entrance of the guest room. 

"Yeah..." Spencer stated. "I uh...figured you'd want your space" He said as he faced her.

"That's far from what I want right now, Spencer" Olivia said as she entered the guest room.

Silence engulfed the guest room as the young couple stared at one another. Spencer felt horrible that he did not have the right words to comfort Olivia in the moment. His eyes watered as he stared at her, wishing he could eradicate the emotional pain and grief she'd been feeling. 

"I just want to know why, Spencer? Why did you lie to me about the pills?" Olivia questioned as she approached him. "Do you not understand how dangerous the shit is?" she crossed her arms.

"I didn't want you to be worried" He answered as he sat at the edge of the guest bed.

"Bullshit!" Olivia spat at him. "Do not give me that fucking excuse, Spencer!" she felt her eyes begin to water.

"Olivia I'm not ly-"

"I don't even know if I can trust you Spencer. You felt so comfortable lying to me about this shit, I wonder what else you're hiding!" she whispered-yelled to avoid disturbing her brother and mother.

"I'm not hiding anything from you, Olivia" Spencer threw his hands up in frustration.

"You're not?" she lightly chuckled at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were at Chyna's house?" Olivia inquired.

"There was nothin' to tell, we weren't together at the time!" Spencer lowered his voice. "You talkin' crazy right now" he shook his head as he went to grab his belongings.

"What're you doing?" Olivia asked as she watched Spencer gather his things.

"I'm goin' back to the hotel" Spencer simply stated. He reached into the drawer of the nightstand and grabbed his gun. "You're clearly not in the right headspace to talk about this" he said as he placed in gun in his jeans.

"No, don't leave!" Olivia pleaded as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Spencer. Just don't leave me" she walked toward him and placed her hands on his chest. 

Olivia rested her forehead on his chest as her cries grew louder. Spencer wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could. "Don't leave" Olivia repeated in between her cries.

"I'm not goin' anywhere..." Spencer said as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. His heart sank as he continued to hold on to her tightly. He repeatedly pecked the top of her head as he rubbed her back.

"I just wish he knew how much I loved him. Even though he wasn't the best father, I loved him anyway" Olivia said as she pulled away from Spencer. "And, he's never going to know that" she frowned as she thought about their last conversation.

"I honestly don't have the right words to comfort you" Spencer said as he wiped the rest of her tears.

"You being here is important right now" Olivia sat on the edge of the bed. "Can we finish our conversation about the pills?" she asked, hoping he'd agree to take her mind off of the late night events.

Spencer reached for Olivia's hand as he joined her at the edge of the bed. He repeatedly placed gentle kisses on the back of her hand and Olivia weakly smiled. Olivia grabbed his face with her free hand and pecked his lips a few times.

"I don't even know where to begin" Spencer sighed as he stared off into space. "Two weeks after the accident, I started to feel less pain. I knew that the minimal pain I felt could be fixed with Tylenol but I'd gotten use to the hydrocodone" he started and Olivia gave him her undivided attention.

"I actually like how I felt while on the medication. So, I lied to the doctor about the severity of my pain so he would prescribe me more" he continued as he avoided his gaze. He wouldn't dare look at her, afraid of crushing her soul even more.

"I'm not understanding, Spencer. What do you mean you liked how you felt on the medication?" she inquired.

"The feeling of calmness and euphoria" He answered. "It's the first time I've felt relaxed in such a long time, Liv" Spencer said as he looked at her.

"How long you've been on them? And don't lie to me..." Olivia said as she crossed her arms.

"Uh...about a week. I have enough for two weeks..." he said as he frowned.

"How many do you take at a time?" she inquired.

"One every six hours" Spencer answered. "I would've done more but I hate the side effects. I hate feelin' sleepy all the time, I hate the nightmares, I hate not bein' turned on" He continued and watched as she nodded her head. Olivia didn't know what to say. She was truly worried about Spencer's mental and physical well-being.

"I promise you, I'm goin' to stop takin' them" Spencer asserted. "Matter of fact, I'mma start right now" He said as he reached into his side pocket.

"What are you-"

"I have no reason to take these anymore" Spencer cut her off as he removed himself from the bed. He walked out of the guest room and into the bathroom across the hall.

Olivia followed closely behind, wondering what he would do next. Spencer opened the cap and briefly glanced inside of the bottle.

I can do this. He thought to himself. 

He poured the pills into the bottle and flushed the toilet.

"You see?" He questioned as he looked back at Liv. "You have one less issue to worry about" Spencer said as he tossed the bottle in the trash. He quickly washed his hands before exiting the bathroom.

"I'm proud of you..." Olivia said as she followed him back into the guest room and sat on the bed.

"I know...I have a lot of shit I need to work on, Liv" Spencer said as he felt his eyes start to water. "I promise you I'ma get right, okay? I'ma do right by you" He said as he wiped the corner of his eyes.

"That's what I like to hear..." she said as she grabbed his face with both hands. "I'ma hold you to this" she said as she gently pecked his lips.

***

Please excuse any mistakes! And the next chapter...whew it's goin' to get crazy. It will be out tomorrow!