DISCOVERING SADIE

Chapter 19

Warmth From The Other Side

Sadie's POV
======

I slide off the counter top and pulled down my skirt. The wobble in my legs made it difficult to stand. "Are you okay Bambi, I didn't hurt you did I?" His brow creased with worry.

I fussed him away and swatted at his hands. "I'm okay. Just, I wasn't prepared for that." I walked to the tea pot sitting on the counter. Now is the perfect time to brew a patch of special camomile tea Sandy had given me. All that screaming and moaning kind of had my throat raw and acky.

"Can you please go and shut the front door." The cool evening air crept in through the open doorway bringing in chilled gusts of wind.

I went upstairs to turn on the tub faucet and take a much needed soak. My body was soar and my head ached from his constant tugging. I sat on the edge of the tub and watched the water slowly begin to rise. Dropping in a bath bomb once the tub was ready. Steam rose into the air and made the bathroom foggy. I felt a moist droplet land on my lip and I wipe my face.

My cheeks are wet, and so are my eyes. I realized tears were streaming down my face now. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I wipe my tears away but they just continue to flow. I begin to sob silently to myself. For my lost virginity.

Keira and I had done this sooo many times. Why did this time feel so different? I some how felt unclean now. I threw my tatered clothes to the floor and stepped into the steamy waters. I let the feeling of remorse take me over and the tears fell harder, droplets falling to meant the bath water.

Jax knocks on the door, "Yes, um.. I'm here come in." His silhouette comes into view as he comes to my side.

"Are you okay Bambi, I thought I heard crying." He kneels next to the tub and hands me the hot mug of tea. I stifle a groan, "Oh, This is my favorite one. My mom got this for me on a work trip to Italy."

I take a sip and lean my head back against to cool tile. "Mmgh." Jax mumbled to himself. "Have I done something wrong? I know you told me not to fuss, but, something seems to be bothering you."

I wipe my tears again and place the mug on the stand next to the tub. "I really didn't want to say anything. It's honestly not a big deal. But, I've never done this before. Umm. You know, sex. I mean.. I've done it, just, not with a man. So, you just took my virginity."

Jax closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. "You're... a virgin Bambi?" He sighed. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you stop me, fuck?"

"No!" I sat up to grab ahold of his hands. "Because I didn't want you to stop. I wanted it. I wanted you, badly." I looked into his eyes. Waiting for him to say something anything. Hoping I wouldn't have to face rejection.

He said nothing. Letting go of my hands, he took my loofah and began to scrub my arms. He worked his way to my back and scrubbed there too. Taking his time, he worked the loofah all over my body and rubbed me down. The tension in my body slowly left and my body lossened to his touch.

He kissed me on my forehead and whispered into my ear. "You take as much time as you need Bambi. I'll see you down stairs." I was left alone with my thoughts. I hated the silence because my mind would use it against me. I picked up my mug and layed back into the tile.