DISCOVERING SADIE

Chapter 5

Reality

Sadie's POV
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  The lights are so bright it hurts to open my eyes. A chill runs up my spine and I shiver and grab myself. "Ughh, where am I?" Sitting up, I realize I'm laying in bed. Surrounded by white walls with bright lights hanging from the ceiling. I shield my eyes and try to focus.

  "Sadie, thank goodness you okay." I turn towards my right and see Tracy sitting at my bedside. "Where am I?" Squinting my eyes, my friend's face comes into view.

  "Take it easy, you had a nasty spill!" Tracy rushes over to lay me back down. "I'm gonna tell your dad that you're awake." She hurries to the hall where I guess my dad has been waiting.

  Dad comes to my bed and wraps his arms around me,"Oh sweetie. I'm so glad you're ok." I look at his face and it looks like he's been crying. His voice cracks and he sounds exhausted.

  He takes a deep breath. "What's wrong dad? I'm OK. I promise, nothing even hurts." I raise my arms and wobble them, trying to convince myself more than him.

  Dad sniffles and whips his face on the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm so sorry honey. It's... its your mother. She's gone." Dad breaks down. The strong man that I come to when I feel like the world is unbearable.

This time its Dads world that is crashing and I'm not even sure what's happening. I raise my hand when something moist drips on it. Pulling me from my trance, I touch my cheeks. Their wet with tears I didn't know where rolling down my face.

Dad takes me in his huge arms and pulls me to him chest. "Sadie, your mom was rushing to the hospital when she got the call that you where admitted." I feel his chest shake unevenly, he's trying to find the words. But, I can feel it in my bones. Nothing is okay anymore, nothing will ever be okay anymore.

"She.. umm, She drove into a ditch and the car wrapped around an old oak tree." His arms slip from my shoulders and he tugs at his hair. I see he's having a rough time staying strong for me.

"What, no. Where's mom. This has got to be some kind of joke. If you're mad at me for going to far at that party I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have been drinking. I'm sorry."

I push myself off the bed but my balance is recked. Before I could hit the floor Dad rushes to my side and tosses me back on the bed.. "Where's mom!" I yell. I didn't know I'd been yelling. My shaky voice fills the empty hospital room. 

"Please calm down sweetie. You've had a hard few days and this isn't something a kid should ever have to hear." He turns to punch the wall but restrains the urge to actually follow through with it. "Dammit"

Dad storms out of the room. Leaving me. The room is spinning and my throat is dry. "I need water." I scream out to no one, but hoping some one will hear. "I need water."

Tracy comes rushing into the room. "Sadie, are you okay. What's wrong sweetie. Someone get a nurse, my friend needs help."

The sound in the room is fading and the bright lights in the room start to dim. I hear footsteps falling on the tile floors. "Sweetie." I hear my dad's voice next to me. I can't see him, but I know he's here.. With this to comfort me, I slip into darkness.

Its becoming my friend.

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IT'S BEEN A FEW MONTHS NOW. IT'S LIKE TIME IS SPEEDING BY BEFORE I EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO HOLD ONTO ANYTHING. SCHOOL ISN'T THE SAME ANY MORE. I NEVER TOLD ANYONE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED THAT NIGHT, OR WHAT STANELY DID TO ME OUT IN THE WOODS. BUT, WALKING THROUGH THE SCHOOL HALLS I CATCH EVERYONE STARING AND I JUST DON'T FEEL SAFE.

My mom, her funeral. I'm still not ready to talk about that either. Dad is barely home any more. He tells me it's because he's picked up more responsibility at work, but I think he can't bare being in that house anymore. When he is home, we don't talk how we used to. Our home has been broken, I'm not even certain I can call it our home. Without mom it's just an empty shell of memories, reminders of what we've lost. It hurts to see her photos hanging on the walls of this shell. Nothing will ever be okay again.

I'm sitting on my bed writing in my journal, I hear Dad come through the front door. Closing my eyes I exhale slowly. My therapist told me it would be good to keep a Diary and jot down my emotions. I guess Dad told her that we barely speak since the accident.

"Honey, can you come downstairs. We should talk." Rolling my eyes, I close my journal and throw on my robe and furry slippers. Mom got these for me on her trip to California, now they're my favorite pair.

"Hey Dad, I'm here. What did you wanna talk about?" I pull my hair back into a messy bun and sit on the bar stool we placed at the kitchen island.

Dad has a look on his face that spoke more than the usual. It says he's had a long day and isn't to pleased with its outcome. "Sadie, I've got a job offer. Think of it sort of like a promotion. I'd be working as one of the lead medical techs doing very important work. Work that could help alot of people."

"Geesh, thats fantastic Dad. I'm really proud of you, so why do you look so beaten up about it." I toss my head to the side to get a better look at him.

Dad goes to the bar and pours himself a shot of conyac. Eyeballing me, he raises his glass gesturing to see if I wanted one. "Are you serious Pop. Pfft come on what's really bothering you?"

  Dad knocks back a mouthful and drags his empty palm down his tired face. "The job is in Breckenridge."

  "Mmh, I've never heard of it. Must be pretty lame." I laughed out loud, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen from my bun before tucking it behind my ear.

"So what's the big deal. A few miles outta town no problemo." I shrug the fuss away. "As long as it doesn't interfere with my schooling, I promise not to make a big deal of the driving distance."

"We have to move Sadie."

Dads staring right into my soul at this point. I shift uncomfortably on the bar stool. "I mean, would that be such a bad thing. Mom isn't here.. I just feels wrong. We shouldn't be here without her. Living here without her. A new house is a fresh start I think we both need."

"Sweetie, Breckenridge is a small town in Colorado. And, although I agree with every word I just thought you would feel differently."

"Umm, I do Dad. What the hell." I jump to my feet knocking over the stool.. "What about school, my friend's. Mom. You expect me to just leave all that behind. I moved back into the house because I didn't want you to be alone. You're asking me to leave my life."

"Honey, I understand if you want to stay. Honestly, I want to stay. But this is a great opportunity and alot of the things you said are true. New beginnings and all." Dad finishes his glass and placed it in the sink.

He walks to the stairs before turning back. "We both need this, but in the end the decision is yours to make. You can stay here, finish school, live your life. Or, come with me, create a new adventure, new memories." I can hear the sadness in his voice.

  "Either way, your still my little girl... an I love you. I just miss her.. you know. I need to get outta here."

Dad pulls himself up the stairs. "I've already started packing. I have to leave before the month is up."