Phanfiction - Wonderboy

Part 10 - Gay?

Phil's POV

I was sitting in class, listening to mrs. Wilson go on and on about something really uninteresting. At least I think it was, I was actually mostly buried in thoughts. I looked at Dan who wasn't paying attention either, but drawing on the table. He looked so concentrated while doing it. It made me smile. He drew a heart, but quickly erased it again.

"Cute, he draws hearts while thinking about me." I thought.

"How can you be so sure it's you he's thinking about?" a voice in the back of my head said.

I quickly shook the thought away. But I was still a bit worried about the thought of Dan and a girl. I guess he's into girls. And he can get any girl he wants. I have noticed how all the girls drool over him. But I shouldn't be worried. I mean, if I had any girl-friends, I didn't want Dan to get jealous either. We're both bi-sexual, but we should be able to talk to girls if want to, without the other one getting jealous.

"But... Are you really bi-sexual?"

I remembered back at my old school, when me and to boys from my class went back to one of their houses, and we watched porn on the computer, while sitting with a pillow over our knees. I remember how they sat with red cheeks and enjoyed watching the two girls rolling around with each other, without much clothes, and I didn't feel a thing.
In the bible it says that if you are into the same gender as yourself, you're not normal.

"No, it can't be."

I tried to imagine me with a girl in the cinema, holding hands, kissing. But I couldn't. It didn't feel right.

"Face it. You're gay!" a voice in my head said.

I started shaking. Nothing was clear to me. I couldn't hear anything, except for my thoughts.

"You just haven't thought about it yet. But you are. You're gay."

Now the classroom started spinning.

"You're gay" kept on echoing in my head. I started feeling sick.

"Now you can never be normal."

I stood up and ran out of the classroom with my hand covering my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. I stood up and found Dan and mrs. Wilson's worried eyes on me.

"Are you unwell Phil?" mrs. Wilson asked.

"Of course he's unwell, he just threw up!" Dan said.

Mrs. Wilson sent Dan an evil look, that Dan didn't notice.

"Do you want to go home?" she asked.

I nodded.

"I'll get our bags." Dan said and walked out the door before mrs. Wilson could protest.

She gave me a last worried look before returning to class. I leant up against the wall and tried to calm myself down. Seconds later Dan came with our bags and we walked back to my house.

I walked into my room and laid down in my bed, facing the wall. Dan locked the door and laid next to me and started stroking my hair. And then I cried. Tears streamed down my face. Dan kissed my cheek.

"Phil, it's ok."

I took a deep breath but continued crying. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and kissed my neck. I slowly began to calm down. He kissed my cheek again.

"Phil?"

I breathed out.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" Dan said almost soundless.

I turned around and faced Dan, but I didn't look him in the eyes.

"Dan, how many girls have you been with?" I asked.

Dan looked confused at me.

"What?" he asked.

"You heard me." I said.

"I...well...I don't know. A couple." he answered. 

"Did you love any of them?" I asked.

"Phil, why are you asking these questions?" Dan said worried.

"Dan, I just want to know if you're into girls." I said.

"Damn Phil, I'm into you." he said.

I couldn't help but smile at that answer. He gave me a smile and kissed my forehead.

"Dan... I...I'm gay." I said and looked away from his eyes again.

"You're gay?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Is that why you threw up? You realized you were gay?"

I nodded again.

"You know, it doesn't change anything." Dan said.

"But it does!" I said.

My voice cracked and I started crying again.

"Oh Phil..." Dan said and held his arms around me and stroked my hair.

"Yes I know it does. But not between us." Dan said.

I sniffled and tried to calm down again by Dans words. I turned my back against him again, and he put his arms around me. He kissed my cheek and neck, and I quickly calmed down again and soon fell asleep.