Tired of Running

90|| about time

// tear me to pieces;
skin and bone \\

          Harper was curled up on her cot, Newt's jacket had been draped across her when she fell asleep.  Now she had her arms wrapped around it, her face burrowed into it.  A faint smile was on her lips, shifting slightly, further into the jacket. 

    Newt stretched, squinting in the sunlight.  He lifted the tent's flap up, sighing as he let himself take in the silence.  It was just starting to warm up, still a little chilly, but he wouldn't dare take his jacket back.  It seemed he was the first awake, Thomas, still snoring, Minho opened one eye, sighing, "Why are you up so early, slinthead?"  Newt shrugged, "Habit, I guess." He hummed, nodding towards the ocean, "Wanna go for a walk?"  Minho shrugged, "Yeah, may as well.  No one else is awake to bother yet,"  Newt snorted, "Lucky them."  Minho yawned as he climbed to his feet. 

     Minho sat on a rock, watching the water.  Newt sat next to him awkwardly.  Minho threw a few rocks into the water, urging the anxious monster to stop clawing at his stomach.  The boys sat in silence, Newt staring at the sand while Minho watched the water.  Finally— finally, Newt spoke, "I wasn't sure I would see you again.  I was worried-  I had to convince myself you made it... In the Scorch.  Then WICKED took you...  I couldn't—" He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I lost myself.. Convinced I lost my best friends."  Minho nodded, "I had to convince her we would get out...  I didn't care about myself anymore."  Newt frowned, "What was it like?"  Minho shook his head, "Doesn't matter.  We made it..."  Newt put his hand on Minho's shoulder, "Thank you.  You got both of you out...  We lost people when there was a whole group of us.  But the two of you..." 

    Minho shook his head, "Harper took care of me too.  She's definitely not helpless."  Newt laughed, "No," he sighed, "She is not..."  Minho nodded slowly.  There was something heavy between them; they could both feel it, but neither wanted to address it.  As if ignoring it would just send it away, make it shrivel up and die.  Newt tapped his foot against the rock, frowning slightly.  "When we were in the Scorch..."  Minho spoke slowly, "Harper got sick."  Newt shifted, watching Minho anxiously, "She went downhill really fast...  One day she was fine..  And then, with the stress, the adrenaline..."  Minho shiok his head, "I didn't know if she would make it back to you.  I wouldn't have been able to..live with myself if she couldn't say goodbye.  Thomas, you..."  Minho closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "She died in there."  Newt sat up, staring at him, "What—"  Minho continued before he could speak more,
"I panicked.  I.. for once, let emotions actually run me."  Newt's eyes shifted slightly, but he stayed silent, "She died.  The virus took over.  And then.. I watched her.. She came back,"  Minho didn't recognize his own voice, "She was looking for you.  When she came back...  It was the first word out of her mouth..."  Newt bit his cheek, fighting the tears collecting in his eyes.  How did she come back... 

Newt sighed, "How do you... You two—" Newt trailed off,  scared to hear the answer. Minho smiled in amusement and shook his head, "She's my best friend."  Minho smiled, "It's not the same.  I don't feel the same way you do.  I would kill for her, I would die protecting her, but she's.. she's my Harper. My overly cheerful, always see the good, contagious smile best friend.  I watched her, dead..  And all I could think was how could I come back to you without her..."  Newt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Besides." Minho nudged Newt with a smirk, "Even if I did feel that way about her, how would I compete with you?" Newt sat up, his heart somehow stopping mid-beat. "She would say your name in her sleep," Newt watched the tide, not sure how he should be feeling, or even how he was feeling. "I heard her crying so many nights when she thought I was asleep." Minho sighed, "But dude," he shook his head, "Everyone else can see how you two are... You two have been basically married since she came to the Glade. But she needs to actually hear it."

Newt licked his lips, now knowing what he felt was extremely anxious. He sighed, "I've always known how I felt. Since I can remember.. Memories, then in the Glade..." he shrugged, "I didn't think I would still be here. I didn't think we would make it out of the Maze, then the Scorch, then WICKED... There was never time to tell her anything. There was never... a reason. We woke up every morning just expecting to die, anticipating when it would happen. There were never thoughts of a future, let alone one where we were both alive. I always wanted to tell her. I wanted to.. grab her, kiss her, hold her against me until neither one of us could breathe. But all I could do was make sure she was alright. For all those years." Minho smirked, soon his smirk turned into a cheek splitting grin. Newt was expecting him to make a comment about him kissing her, or end his lament with an inappropriate comment, but he was looking over Newt's shoulder.

And bloody hell, that's where Harper was standing.