Tired of Running

5|| an acceptable, unfair agreement

// when everyone you
thought you knew
deserts your fight,
i'll go with you \\

•
"Just tell me why. Why are you so bloody determined to get her out there? You have me."
Newt's nostrils flared as he glared at Minho, shaking, his nerves so worked up.
"Why are you so against it?" Minho looked at him, eyes impatient.
"You bloody know why." Newt lowered his voice, "You know." Minho sighed, "Nothing is going to happen to her. I can promise you that." "No... No, you can't." Newt shook his head, "You don't know that at all. You can't control if a griever comes out and gets her- do you not remember—" Minho put a hand on Newt's shoulder, "She's not stupid enough to let herself get hurt. She's aware. She knows what's out there."

"Minho." Newt had a stern expression,
"I will not lose her." Minho looked at him exasperated, "You don't think I feel the same way? You don't think I care about her?" Newt bit back his anger. Minho did not know how he felt. He had no idea... "Don't think I don't see how you look at her..." Minho's voice softened, "I know... I know how you feel... I know why you..." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Newt huffed, "If you feel the same way. Then you need to understand. She will not be replaced. She can't get hurt, Minho." His eyes stared into Minho's, not averting. Minho looked at the boy, face unreadable, "Okay..."

Harper sat beside Winston, keeping her eyes down. She'd been getting glares from the boys all day, heard the whispers behind her back.
She couldn't be a runner. She was a girl.
She couldn't defend herself. She would never make it. She kicked the log she was sitting on, exhaling loudly. Winston looked at her, eyes falling, "You have to ignore them. You'll prove them wrong... You did, me..." He smiled, putting a careful hand on her knee. Harper smiled, but her head was still clouded.
Thankfully, Minho arose to create a distraction for her. Newt was following behind, looking grave.

"Hey... Hey, Harper..." He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, "So we'— I. I've been thinking... Maybe, um, you being a runner isn't the best idea." The corner of his mouth twitched anxiously. Harper's face fell, her heart sank. Her eyes darted back and forth, between Newt and Minho, studying their faces, trying to read their thoughts, trying to understand.
"But this morning you just said—"
"I know." Minho looked at her sadly,
"I know what i said... I just... Thinking more about it, it's not such a good idea." Harper looked at them both with furrowed eyebrows. She snapped her attention to Newt, "You did this... You talked him out of it." Newt, in response, looked at the ground. "I can't believe you would—" Shaking her head, Harper stormed off.  Winston looked at the pair in disbelief, "So you build up her hope and give your full support and piece and then you just change your mind like that?" He shook his head, "No, man.. That's not cool."
Still looking disappointed, he followed Harper.

Minho met Newt's eyes, unsure. Newt returned the look. He may have stopped her from running, but he was sure he did the right thing... He was protecting her. He looked at Minho again and nodded his thanks.

Harper was not talking at dinner.  She sat by herself, outside under a tree.  Newt and Minho had immediately sensed her absence,  looking at each other with guilty expressions.  Winston had avoided them, still not accepting what Minho did. But he sat next to them at dinner, still ignoring them. "Winston..." Newt spoke quietly, "You know why we did it... We don't—"
Winston shook his head, "Save it. I already know why.  You're both too selfish to let her try."
They both fell silent.
They didn't talk much the rest of the night, but kept stealing glances at Harper, sitting alone under the tree.

Morning eventually came, but with it, no relief from the guilt they both felt. Why should they feel guilty? They both knew with all their being that she could handle herself. She would be one of the least likely runners to get hurt, being more cautious than both Newt and Minho.
Harper started on her track-hoe rounds, still not seeming to be in a good mood.  Pushing that away, Minho and Newt headed out to their run for the day. Harper's eyes followed them into the maze, longingly.