Felt and Fell

Fifteen

Zoya

This man right in front of me is like the sweetest male specimen. I look at him as we eat, I've thanked my stars thrice since we've entered here. I have been craving Japanese cuisine like a moody pregnant woman and he literally, already, had the appointment here.

With Aditya, initially I felt weird after ranting my entire workday. I thought I was doing the bothersome blabber but he seems to be genuinely interested. He listens, understands...I guess...maybe I'mjust assuming that he does but I didn't feel uncomfortable for even once.

"I'm sorry for that day." I said breaking the silence.
I want to talk to him so much that it's making me desperate.

"Which day?" He looked at me, pausing for a second and then took his bite.

Woah! I'm 'nearly' distracted... Aditya looks like a ripped body owner, I mean...His forearms are so.....what should I say?...vien-y that it's almost illegal and annoying but his...his eyes.... His eyes sparkle like a baby's.... Innocent and full of curiosity and astonishment.

"Th-that day."

Control your mind Zoya baby, you're in middle of a conversation that you started...your mind has got shit to handle....Aah!

"Wh-which day?"

Okay, he's clearly mocking me. This guy... seriously. Ugh!

I took in a deep breath and smiled.

"You know what I am talking about, don't try and act innocent, okay?"

"Ah!..." He let out a realisation-sigh... whatever the fuck that is...but he's very evidently being dramatic. "You mean the day we kissed..."

"Shhh..." I waved my hands in the air in an attempt to reach him and close his mouth. "Don't say it..." I murmured.

"We're on a date." He murmured coming closer to the table.."People around us think of us as a couple... Kissing is a normal couple thing...chill.."

"That's not what I meant..."

"Then what?"

"Just... don't say it ..."

"But why?"

"Because I said so." I pointed my chopsticks at him.

"Fair enough." He hid a small smile but since I'm not blind...I saw it.

"Yeah...so....Yeah...sorry about running away that day."

"It's okay...I.. understand.." he said.

A part of me thought that he'd say sorry for kissing me but he didn't. And honestly, I'm glad that he didn't.

"I just want you to know that...I was very confused that day. I have never...ever done something like that...never. And...I had just broken up with Sahir.... All of it was just.... confusing me alot...and now that I sit here with you after running away like an idiot... It's just that ..." I looked at him for an assurance that he's understanding what I am trying to say. "I have no idea what was in my head..It feels like I don't have any idea what my emotions are, what am I supposed to do?..."

"You need to calm down first." He said softly. So soft that my heart melts. My heart melts a lot when he's around so who's surprised?

Not me!

"But I need you to know that I don't want you to get involved in all that's wrong with my head." Steadily, all my guards are down. "I fear this to be a rebound...You are such a nice guy...you deserve better." I literally breathed the last words out. I doubt if he even heard me but the way he's looking at me, I think he did.