Felt and Fell

Twenty

Zoya

He was on top of me, on his couch. I didn't realise when he had removed my jacket...I was lost. Lost in his touch, in his presence, in the affection in his eyes.
The way he was kissing me, with his arm around my waist, pulling me closer...his other arm supporting us so that we don't fall. My body is engulfed with flames, and my hands are trembling not from nerves, but something I cannot pin point... passion... maybe.

Even while we're kissing, I picture his mouth pressed against mine, my heart is racing faster than a drum-and-bass track.

Would anything matter more than this? Ever?

The way he kisses, I could feel heat rippling down my body. My lips part of their own volition, and Aditya takes full advantage by sliding his tongue inside. When my tongue tangles with his, he makes a low, growling noise in the back of his throat, and the erotic sound vibrates through my body.

I angle my head to deepen the kiss, and my tongue eagerly explores his mouth. No, not eagerly—hungrily.
I'm hungry for him.
Aditya threads his fingers through my hair and tugs me closer, one powerful arm curling around my hip to keep me in place.
My breasts are now crushed against his rock-hard chest, and I can feel the wild hammering of his heart. His excitement matches my own. The raw, husky groan he releases tickles my lips and sends my pulse careening.

His heated lips leave mine and wander along the line of my jaw, dipping down to my neck, where he plants open-mouthed kisses that send thrills down my spine.
I hear a tormented whimper and am taken aback when I realise it's coming from me. I buried one hand in his hair.

Something jolts within me and I take his name... desperately. "Aditya.." It was my need for him....I needed more and that made me realise what I was doing.

There must have been an alarming tone in my voice because he stopped immediately, meeting my eyes. It takes me a moment to get rid of the laziness he'd pushed me into. When I see him, into his eyes....I see something that I didn't want to.

His eyes look at me as if he'd done something wrong.

Please don't regret this Adi. Please. I beg him mentally.

"I...I have never done this before." I tell him, before he starts feeling guilty of giving me the most beautiful feeling.

It's us, it's our moment...I don't want to ruin us.

"Never?.." he asked, sitting back slowly, I held him through his blazer so that he doesn't go too far.

I nodded in denial. Something stung into the back of my eyes....it was a memory... memories.
I was insecure before but it's different now. I want him to know...I want Aditya to know everything about me...I want him to know how much I like him.

"I was scared.." I confessed, loosening my grip of his blazer. With one swing, he pulled me on his lap and held me by my waist.

"Tell me Zoya.." He said, easing my hair which must have turned into a mess considering the way we were kissing each other a few minutes ago. He removed my hairband and wore it on his wrist.

The way he was adjusting my hair, it felt like the most natural thing in this world. The most beautiful thing.

He felt like home.

How can he be?

Is Aditya...my home?...the one thing I've always been craving for.

"You won't judge me...right?" I looked at him with hope, clinging on to him.

He fixed my hair behind my ear and said. "Never... It's just us..."

My heart flips at the way he reassured me.

"I was scared that Yash would leave me... won't marry me...once we get physically intimate....as if that's all he wanted. I deliberately wouldn't let him come too close... because...I feared loosing him." I said looking at him, my eyes turned glassy at the memories..."I was so insecure that I'd never have anybody with me...I just..." I tried not to sob.

"Zoya... please don't cry..." He cupped my cheek. I smiled and rested my head on his. A sigh left my mouth as if this is how I was meant to find comfort.
I wasn't sad...how can I be sad when he's right here, holding me with so much warmth, care and tenderness that it almost feels like love?

"It wasn't the loss of him that scared me Adi....I was determined to have a family for myself that I took intimacy as a risk that I didn't want to take. I was always thinking about the 'right things' I could do to keep him with me...so much...that I didn't even realise when I stopped being honest with him. That 'what if he leaves me' used to scare me to an extent where...I had already lost him, the future was scary...and...I... didn't want....and I.... didn't......want..." I started sobbing a again.

"Zoya." His voice melted in the air, the way he took my name. I had never accepted this in front of anyone before, that I was not me anymore with Yash.

"Ssshh...let me complete...."

"Stop crying first.... please." He wiped my tears, holding my face in his hands.

How did I find such a man?

I laughed a little. "I want to be honest with you Adi..."

"Do you think I'll leave you?" He asked, his eyes showing the genuineness of his words.

I nodded in a 'NO'. "I want to trust you Aditya....I want to love you...I don't have a reason but I don't feel you'll ever abandon me...with you.." I looked at him "with you...I am not scared of the future... because I'm living my present. That's what I should focus...on our present...on our lives."

I don't miss the twinkle in his eyes. He likes the idea of 'us' just as much as I do.

"I'd never leave you... Never...ever... And I don't need to promise you that Zoya... I'll prove it to you... I will earn your trust..." He brushed a soft kiss on my temple.

"Will you make this life..'ours'?" I asked, my thumb caressing the side of his mouth. He sat silently for a moment. "Will you be my boyfriend Adi?"

"Ah...are you... proposing me?..."

Is he a baby?
Huh!
My baby. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Did I stutter?" I looked at him stern.

"Can I kiss you a 'YES'?" He asked coming closer to my mouth but I stopped him.

"First say Yes or say Yes.."

"Looks like you're giving me too much options...it's kind of confusing...what should I choose?.... Let me kiss and confirm.." he said coming closer again.

"Adiii..." I laughed pushing him. "Answer me!!"

"Okay I'll answer...but you'll let me call you shortcake.."

"Ah!..looks like I need to take it back. I'll have to remain single I guess." I said with a sigh, getting up but he pulled me back on his lap.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said, wrapping his strong arms around me. I feel so delicate as if I'll break if touched with slightest force. "I'd love to be your boyfriend Zoya... That's an opportunity I'm dying for."

I don't know why, the way he said it...it was so adorable that I laughed a bit. "Why do you sound as if you're thanking me for accepting  job application."

"Look, I told you... Kissing a 'Yes' was a better idea. You asked for it." He shrugged.

"Fine.... Do what you do the best." I slowly kissed his right eye.

He looked at me with a surprised expression. "You like the way I kiss?"

"Why do you think I want you as my boyfriend?... you're the fucking best at this!" I laughed but before I could stop laughing...he gave his lips to me..to love and tell him that this was the most beautiful moment of my life.

He was My Man.

~~~

I know this is a short update but there's just a few more chapters left... I'll make them longer.

Sorry and thank you ❤️