Felt and Fell

THIRTY- ONE

Zoya

Fuck...this is so awkward.

"I look what Adi?.... What are you even doing?" I asked, kneeling down by his side.

"I'm trying to hide... away from you...." He sighed...." I'm trying to keep you out of my sight."

Wow! That hurt!

This was beyond my imagination... I tried to dress sexy for this man and he's trying to keep me out of his sight?

Is this the same guy who won't leave me for a second, when we were attending Dhara's wedding?

Is this the same man who talked dirty to me while we had the hottest makeout known to mankind?

Is this the same guy....who drives me nuts?

"What...do you...mean?" I couldn't help but stutter a little. This wasn't going how I planned.

The way I had planned, I should be having his lips on mine by now....his hands on me.... Ugh!

Aditya took a deep breath and his gaze met mine with a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability. "Zoya, I cannot deny it.... Seeing you like this, dressed the way you are..... it's hard not to find you incredibly sexy.... And I.... I feel like I'm doing you wrong....I don't want to make you uncomfortable or objectify you...but... you're...so hot.... So cute...and so so so damn sexy.... I cannot..." His eyes had so much sincerety that I wanted to slap my previous thoughts away. "I cannot stop myself... I keep having these... inappropriate thoughts about you.... I need to stop looking at you for a moment so that I can ..you know... fully retreat to the safety of my own restraint."

I felt a warmth spreading through me, a combination of relief and appreciation for his honesty. The openness in his admission created an intimate space between us, one where our desires and vulnerabilities coexisted.

This beautiful man is the same man who won't stop loving me, who'd whisper those dirty nothings into my ears when he'd show his love to me.

This beautiful man is my Adi.
And my Adi was walking on eggshells today.... I assumed it was because of the setting and my expression of aversion to touch because of Yash.

But isn't he the same man who showed me how touch is my love language? Why is he so cautious now.... I'm free of the bindings of my own beliefs and now... He feels tied?

"Restraint?" I grabbed his hands. "Restraint Adi?... You call your feelings, your thoughts... inappropriate?" My hand reached to cup his face. "Don't forget, you're the one who taught me how beautiful your touch is and now... You think I don't want you to be attracted to me or what?... "

The air between us became charged with something like a promise of a deeper intimacy.

As if he was caught off guard, Adi straightened up, a mixture of embarrassment and relief washing over his face.

"But.... "

"Shhhh...." I planted a painfully soft kiss on his cheek and said, "Was it not you who wanted our first time .. to be in your  house?.. because you wanted to fill your life with me?"

"Your love...I want to fill my entire being with you...your love.." sitting straight, he wrapped an arm around me and made me sit on his lap.