Felt and Fell

Forty-eight

Aditya

She hadn’t said anything for a while, her fingers absently tracing patterns on my chest, but I knew her well enough to sense when something was weighing her down.

I placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, my hand gently rubbing her back. "What’s on your mind, Zoya?" I asked, my voice was soft but serious.

She stayed silent for a moment, and I could feel her hesitate before she finally spoke, her voice quiet but filled with tension.

"Adi... I don’t want to not keep the baby. I want this," she whispered, her fingers tightening slightly on my skin. "But my work... my career, it’s just not ready for something like this. I’m not ready."

I exhaled slowly, understanding where this was coming from. I had seen how much she’d poured into her work—every late night, every missed dinner.

She had built something important, something she was proud of, and this... this pregnancy wasn’t part of that carefully constructed plan.

"Talk to me," I said gently, shifting so I could look at her properly. Her eyes met mine, filled with uncertainty, and it made my chest tighten.

"I’ve worked so hard, Adi," she continued, her voice cracking. "I’ve fought for every opportunity, every deal. My company is just reaching a place where I can’t afford to step back, not even for a little while. I don’t know how to balance this." Her hand moved to her stomach, her palm resting gently against the small bump that was starting to form. "I don’t want to give up my work... but I don’t want to give up on our baby either....I want our baby Adi....I want our family...but.... I don’t know how to do both."

I reached out and took her hand, lacing my fingers with hers. "Zoya, you don’t have to give up anything. We’ll figure out a way to make this work."

She shook her head, her eyes filling with frustration. "It’s not that simple, Adi. You know how demanding this is. I can’t just disappear from the company for months. Everything I’ve built could start to fall apart. And then there’s the baby... the responsibility. I don’t even know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment. How do I give 100% to both? I can’t."

Her words hit me hard, and I could see the pain behind them. She felt torn, like she had to choose between the two parts of herself—the driven, ambitious woman who had worked so hard to build her business and the woman who always wanted to be a mother. It wasn’t fair, and I hated that she was feeling this way.

I squeezed her hand gently, pulling her closer so she could feel my support. "You’re right. It’s not simple. But Zoya, you’re not alone in this. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. We’ll figure out a balance together. You don’t have to choose between your career and our baby. There are ways to make both work."

She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. "But what if I can’t handle it, Adi? What if I fail at both? What if I can’t be the mother this baby deserves because I’m too focused on work, or I lose everything I’ve worked for because I’m not present enough?"

I cupped her face gently, forcing her to hold my gaze. "Zoya, listen to me. You’re one of the strongest, most capable people I know. You’ve built your career from the ground up, and you’ve faced every challenge that’s come your way in your life.... This isn't just another challenge, but you don’t have to face it alone. I’m here, okay? We’ll make adjustments, we’ll figure out a plan. We can hire more help, delegate more at work, take things one step at a time. And if it feels like too much, we’ll deal with it together. You’re not alone."