Felt and Fell

Thirty-Nine

Zoya

We stood side by side in the kitchen.

Aditya was cheerfully whisking eggs, his movements swift and confident.

I tried to focus on chopping the mushrooms and the vegetables, but my mind kept drifting back to the conversation about his parents' upcoming visit.

"Pass me the salt, shortcake," Aditya said, nudging me gently.

"Huh? ....Oh, right," I replied, handing him the salt shaker absentmindedly.

My hands were slightly shaky, and I realized I had been staring at the same piece of bell pepper for the past minute without actually cutting it.

"Zoya, you’re going to chop your fingers off if you keep spacing out like that," Aditya teased, though his eyes were filled with concern.

"I’m sorry," I mumbled, setting the knife down and taking a deep breath.

"Are you okay, shortcake?"

"Oh, yeah, I’m fine," I said, trying to sound convincing.

But then I remembered something important, I rushed to the cabinets and started opening them one by one. "Adi? Do you have a single set of China or not?"

"Oh... I do, I do!" He quickly ran to a cabinet and took out a set. "Mom got me this when I shifted here... I definitely don't bring out crockery for when my friends come over... but I sure use them when Maa and Pa are here." He smiled, holding up the pristine set.

"Men," I huffed in disappointment, shaking my head.

"But, what happened?... You don't like these? We can buy new ones.... "

I anxiously looked around, taking in the starkness of the space. "Why are the walls mostly bare?" I asked, noting the lack of framed photos or artwork and minimal decorative items.

Aditya shrugged, a calm expression on his face. "Love, because I've been living alone."

I sighed, moving to the shelves. "Even your shelves are so empty..."

He followed me, concern etched on his face. "Zoya, I'm sorry? What are you expecting out of me? This house..." He paused, coming to hold my shoulders gently. "This house doesn't seem like a home because it never was. Calm down, okay?"

His words made me stop and take a breath. He was right; this place was just a space to him, not a home. My nerves were acting up, and he could see it.

"But Adi, there are so many things missing," I said, trying to articulate my feelings. "You don't even have proper toiletries, just the basics. And your linens... plain and uncoordinated." I couldn't help but huff in disappointment.

He nodded, understanding dawning in his eyes. "I know. I never really thought about those things. It was just me here, and I didn’t need much." A soft Chuckle left it. "I guess I never really cared about those details. It was just a place to crash after work."

I turned to face him, a mix of frustration and love welling up inside me. "I want this place to feel like a home, Adi. For both of us,"

Aditya's expression softened as he pulled me into a comforting embrace, his hands gently rubbing my back. "And it will, shortcake," he reassured me, his voice so soothing, "calm down? We will make this our home baba."

"I’m just... I can’t stop thinking about your parents coming to visit." As I rested my hands on his chest, I felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat... "We're not serving your parents in the same crockery your mom got us. Please," I added with a little pout, hoping to convey how important this was to me.