retrospect

retrospect #12

STELL'S P.O.V

"great job, everyone. let's a have a quick break, alright? go on." our coordinator stated and all models on the stage dispersed and went on their own ways to take a little time to rest. we're currently practicing for a runway show for vogue which will be held in New York next week.

as usual, pau and i walked to the same place to grab some water.
"grabe, nahihilo na 'ko. i think hindi na 'ko ganun kasanay magmodel."

"i guess so. tagal mo na rin kasing hindi nagmomodel eh. you're too focused na on being an engineer. which is good since 'yun naman talaga yung pangarap mo." pau agreed at my response and fished his phone out of his bag. i drank straight to my bottle while watching the other people around us.

"nakakainis." paulo blurted out all of a sudden. i looked at him in confusion and he was already looking at me.

"why?"

"bakit kasi nagka-amnesia ka pa? ayun tuloy hindi ako makapagkwento sa'yo about sa'min ni apollo."

"wait- there's something going on between the two of you?"

paulo groaned in frustration and i laughed.
"see? you don't even remember shit!" he stated and i laughed harder.

"aba! kasalanan ko bang nagreset 'tong utak ko?"

"kainis ka."

"c'mon, pau, just tell me. I'll probably remember some details though." i said as i crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back to the edge of the stage.

"fine. well, apollo and i decided na it's better if we just stay as friends. our situation is really hard and it won't work unless one of us sacrifices for the other."

my forehead creased at that.

"eh 'di ba that's what love is all about? making sacrifices? bakit hindi niyo magawa?" i asked.

paulo sighed and shrugged. "we live in two different countries, stell. it's much easier said than done. in reality, sobrang daming factors na kailangan pag-isipan ng mabuti. how we wish it was that easy."

i nodded. paulo must be going through a lot right now. how insensitive of me to even ask that.

"you're right. i'm sorry, pau."

but he chuckled. "ano ka ba, it's nothing. it's been a year since we talked about that. you know, before your accident. kaya i understand na kailangan kong ulitin sa'yo kasi hindi mo naman naaalala."

"thanks, bestie. sweet mo talaga." i said and ruffled pau's hair to which he responded with a punch to my stomach.

"aray ko naman!"

"ang tagal inayos ng buhok ko tapos guguluhin mo lang! kaasar 'to!"

we laughed at that while continuing to bicker one another. i missed paulo so much as well.

which got me thinking.... may itatanong nga pala dapat ako sa kanya...

"pau."

"hmm?"

"i have a really dumb question in mind right now. pero i've been thinking about it for days and i just need an answer."

paulo nodded. "sure. ask ahead."

okay. here we go.

i breathed deep before asking.

"pau... are you... my ex?"