Hearts Between The Pages (Heartwreck #1)

Chapter 24

Trigger warning: this chapter will tackle a very sensitive topic that some might find triggering.

Observe yourselves. If you knew that you easily gets trigger, kindly skip this chapter. I love you, and I don't want to hurt you in any cruel way.

Ps. I know that I promised that this book isn't going to be heavy. That was the initial plan, I swear. But as I kept on writing with no solid plot in mind, the twist miraculously came knocking on my door, sabotaging all my plans.

Chapter 24

What She Needs

I press my forehead on the wall of the cubicle I am currently in as the voice of Millie keeps on playing inside my head for the last fifteen minutes that I've been here.

I'm pregnant.

Her words were like a tennis ball that keeps on bouncing and bouncing and bouncing inside my head.

She's pregnant. Millie is pregnant. The woman who never wanted kids is pregnant.

Of course, I am happy for her. I really am. But envy is a motherfucker. Four letters, one word, but when it kicks in, it's like a small particle of bacteria that multiplies and spreads every second, not stopping until it finally invades every inch of you. Until you couldn't recognize yourself anymore because the genuine parts of you have been already raided and occupied by envy.

Millie has been cautious as she breaks the news to me because even if she doesn't tell me, she's careful not to hurt my feelings.

And as much as I want to take offense with that, I couldn't because she was right... her great news somehow hurted me and that makes me feel awful— morbid even.

How could I feel hurt through the victories that I should be celebrating with my friend?

It's not Millie's fault that I'm incapable of being pregnant.

It's not her fault that I am infertile.

God, I'm a cruel, cruel person.

And I even felt more cruel when I find myself rushing out of the restroom to take a cab and go to Archean's office.

It takes only fifteen minutes from here to get to his building. And true to my calculations, kinse minutos pa lamang ay nakarating na ako sa building ng kanyang publishing company.

As I walk to the floor where I can find his office, the staff who are staring at me before with judgment back when I was just Archean's secretary were now staring at me with respect and pity.

Respect because I am now their CEO's wife and pity because I am the CEO's wife who can't conceive a baby.

It's not like I've broadcast to them using a megaphone as I stand on top of the table that, "Hello, ladies and gays, I am Olivia Fibonacci and I'm proud to announce to all of you that I am infertile and incapable of giving my husband that I love so much a one big happy family."

No, that's not what happened. The truth is when you're a person with a public figure, even if you don't announce your flaws and defects to the world, people will still find their ways to put two and two together.

We've been married for four years but up until now we still don't have a mini version of him or me that I am carrying with me everytime I visit him in his office.

Up until now I still don't have a child to hold that I share the same DNA as him. I couldn't give him a child that would call him Dad.

And it's all because of my defect.